A Penny for my Thought.....Updating Relationship Status

Is it wrong to be changing and updating my relationship status on social forums?

 I am the only single one left in my family. My baby sister just got married yesterday, do I change my status just to feel among?  This post hits the bulls eye! What do you think? My mystery writer allowed me to share this again.

People continue to update their relationship status- from single to engaged and complicated back to single and a few weeks later, back to engaged. This seems to suggest a growing business of relationship confusion and perhaps heart break and impending depression. You have a problem when everyone you have dated is either "a useless man," a hopeless womanizer, or a "good for noting bastard". How come you are the only one all these bad guys are seeing? Meanwhile, the same guys are getting married and loving someone elsewhere. Could it be that you were too impatient, too desperate or simply intolerant in your search for a Mr Right cum Mr Perfect? How many times do you want your heart broken before you decide that the heart is now in bits and start remolding and mending it before representing it again to be loved?
Are you the type of woman you want your brother to bring home for a wife? If you think you are, then convince him and not convict him.
Well, as you can see, the year is almost rounding up, and with the few days left, you may meet some great people but it would not be until next year for that ring to enter your finger. Meanwhile, as your friends can no longer join your clubbing life style because of their impending wedding next year, you may have to reconsider your life style; Even those other ones with whom you usually share baby-sitting cost to save money for clubbing, are getting married next year. Then when you accept free flight tickets from near- strangers, just know that he intends to key out his money worth before you go- so get ready, keep it clean and less busy prior to your departure- and forget about his promises of "I go marry" which comes with "by gods grace" anyway. It does not mean much and some of us even hear our own voices making these promises- so don't take it serious. So try something new, like a new life style, attracting those friends whom, even if it does not end in marriage can still count you as a friend; stop getting pregnant for strangers in the hope that they might stay; if they stayed, it would be because of the child, not because of you, so? See a change in yourself and everything else might just fall into place. Do this and see whether it will not be you sending out cards to your friends in 2013.

Cheating and what Exodus says

Hello friends, compliment of the season. How have you all been? Its been hectic this festive season; shopping, traffic, meeting deadlines, etc. I am  Survivour, made it.

I want to thank God for making yesterday a reality, my baby sister got married to her hearthrob of 5 years. hmmm, not that I particularly like long courtship but happy that yesterday became a reality.

In the course of our being at the Registry yesterday, I listened as a small group argued away seriously on the issue of marriage after wedding and cheating and its causes. This brought me to a write up a friend had on his page. I have asked for his permission to share ( there are more thought provoking write ups by him that I will be posting later). Happy reading

Cheating is already bad enough, but being foolish in concealing the acts and exposing others to hurt is outright idiocy. How could you go and save your guys name as "Mike the Plumber." What plumber calls his clients at 12midnight? Or when did plumbers start making check calls? If you must cheat, at least save the names in your phone like a wise somebody. There must be one uncle or Aunty that your partner don't like in your family and that can come off handy here. If the uncle's name is Tony and you know that your wife dont talk to him (because he opposed the marriage) by all means use him. If your babes name is Tessy, just save as "Uncle Tee." He has every reason to call at midnight and guess what, madam will put off the phone direct to voice mail herself once she sees the name. The same goes for her, if his name is Amadi and your Husband does not like that your Aunty Edna who thinks that he is good for noting good digger. Just transfer Amadi and save as "Aunty Mimi" and guess what will happen when the idiot calls you at Midnight? Oga will remove your phone battery. So please look at Exodus 20:14.
e

The Mad Rush

I am going shopping this weekend just to fullfill all righteousness.  Yes. I hate this mad rush this time of the year, every year but what can I do?  Nothing. I am going to join the rush and save some money from the various sales that are going on this season.

Princess had their Christmas party today. Hurray! I will rest finally for this term. Her Queenship will be resting from all the various scheduled competitions and pagant that she had to attend/compete in this term. Phew.

I have a wedding to plan for and so much loaded on this tiny shoulders of mine.

Do I need a vacation?  Oh yes I do? Where would I want? Oh please, I thought you would never ask.  The white sandy beach of Seychelles.  Do I have a valid international passport?  I do. Do the rest and please, call me as soon as its done so I can get ready ( I am packed already). Hehehehehe.

Do have a wonderful weekend everyone.  I intend to .

NB: I have ready this for now.

My Dreams are coming True

The Experience was an awesome event that will leave another lasting impression in a lot of Christians heart, especially that of Princess and myself.  I did breakdown with cold and a little fever though, but I am all good now. Testimonies and lots of pictures can be found here The Experience



When the year began, I had my goals/ wishes/ dreams list like a lot of other people. Some of them have come to pass and others , well, I am having my fingers crossed. Its not over until its over. So I am hopeful. I have wished for so many things. One of which is Santa will come earlier this year with my dream car. I am having my fingers crossed.  Oh yes, I have faith and I refuse to believe that the world is coming to an end on the 12/12/12! I mean, I still some unfulfilled dreams that must come to pass.

 

 

 

My wish list has included giving myself a bountiful lunch at no other place than the one and only Branama Kitchen, owned by the delectable Songstress, Kefee.

 

Today, was that day! What did I have? Delicious Banga soup (alias Ofe Akwu) with starch. I wanted to have the taste of the real Niger Delta touch to the meal. I enjoyed myself and I am recommending it for anyone who would want to.

 

Kefee opened her Branama Kitchen on Sunday February 5, 2012 family and close friends in attendance. It is located at No 11, Ajose Street, Mende, Maryland - Lagos.

She definitely has some very good hands who work in the kitchen preparing these differently delicious food at very affordable prices too.

I am not doing a promo for her kitchen. I needed this treat. I mean who wouldn't? My baby sister is getting married December 27th. I am so excited and happy.  I am already on top of things.

I mean another one of my dreams/wishes for this year. I am so happy. I need a vacation.

These Questions Need Answers Please

The news of the demise of veteran Nigeria/Nollywood Actor, Enebeli Enebuwa came as a shock to us all, especially me as I was praying seriously that his being transfered to the hospital in India would be the best for him. But alas, the story wasn't as I had prayed. Why?  Not me.


You see when you have been through a lot and have dreams and desires that do not come as immediate as you want them to, you would want to get angry but I have learnt a lot over time.  This is no exception.

Notable Nollywood Actors and Actresses have dies this year alone. I dont know if asking why these ones.

They are Gone!

Cassandra Gabriel

David Ihezie

Seun Ogunlade

James Iroha alias "Gringory"

Geraldine Ekeocha

Lekan Lekinson

Psalm 39:4-5:   "Lord, make me to know mine end, and the measure of my days, what it is ;that I may know how frail I am.
Behold, thou has made my days as an handbreath; and mine age is as nothing before thee: verily every man at his best state is althogether vanity. Selah.

Hmmm. Life, oh Life!

What can I say.  The Bible has said it all. Sober reflecting mood activated and praise and worship to Him who alone deserves all our praises.

Like I said I am not going to ask any question as I am sure nobody except God Almighty alone has all the answers to these questions. Or else I would have asked why did Super Storm Sandy ravish the shores of the coast states of the United States or the typhoon in the Philipines destroy properties and killed over 200 hundred people just a few days ago? I mean what about the very one that is being discussed in hush hush tone these days in our home so as not to cause a complete breakdown of the peace that is slowly coming back into our lives - "where is Sam?

The answers might just scare the life out of me, so I am going to continue being in this attitude of Praise to Him who alone knows all things.

I rest in one hope that the Creator has everything under control and the sky won't be falling down on us anytime soon. In the mainwhile, I have choosen to live my life to please Him for life  is worth nothing if not lived for the one purpose which it was created for - Jesus Christ.

I am off to "The Experience" today. It promises to be an awesome time in His presence with over 500 worshippers and many others who would be watching via the internet and other braodcast medium.

Princess would be coming along too. She has attended the last three editions and wont be missing this one. I hope to be twitting along for those of you who are following me @singlenaijamum, or those who wont be able to watch it live.

Do have a wonderful, beautiful, fabulous weekend everyone. Thank you for reading and commenting.

What I didnt tell you

Hello friends, how has your week been thus far? Mine has been hectic but I am not complaining as I know since activating my groove mode for this season, there is nothing to slow me down.

Last weekend was so much fun as I had to attend two shows in a row.  The first show was on Friday night in honour of Onu Cynthia Chikodinaka alais Kody D'Kodynator ( On Air Personality) with the prestigious 95.1 Wazobia Fm. "A Night For Two" at the Terra Kulture on Tiamiyu Salvage on Victoria Island, Lagos.

The show was as classy as the lady herself.  Everything was on point.  I had so much fun.  By the way , least I forget, na VIP section ticket I been hold , hehehehe. (Complimentary, courstey my friend from one of the sponsoring media outfits)

Saturday night was the next in line.  The very best of them all.  I mean TymeoutwithTeeA www.tymeoutwithteea.com. Its had an array of all the stars. I was shocked to see D'Banj, who was said to not be in the country.  He was there live.  He even got cornered by TeeA on his alleged membership with Illuminati.  I give it to D'Banj, he is smart.  He didnt say much , let your mind do the rest.  I just wanted to enjoy the show and nothing more. 

Since I am family, of course, I sat in front where I got a good view of everything.

Some of the artist that performed included the Legendry Daddy Showkey, Sir Shina Peters, rave of the moment Lynxx. Sammy Okposo also performed. Rib cracking jokes from the comedians and comedinnes in the house, Yaw (www.yawnaija.com). Alibaba, Okey Bakassi ( looking so sexy in his hooded top and jeans). Seyi Law, Madam Princess, Crazy Legs. Its was a full house.

Gift prices were won and a return ticket to Dubai was won by a fellow blogger  Luci Lu. Yes. It was fun.

The night ended well and I had more family time to end the night.

By the way, Princess went with my Sister for vigil.  Let the celebration continue!

NP: Uploading more pictures later, my apologies.

Examination Starts for Princess

The term is coming to an end. Other schools have already finished their exams while others just started like my Princess will be starting hers today. So we sat up this evening till an hour after her bed time so that we can do some extra revision.

Its a major one for Princess as she intends to show off her academic prowess to her other class mates. She is already the School ueen, so this setting of standard means a lot as she wants to prove that she is both beauty and brains.

Wishing my lil girl all the best

Awakening The Activist in Me

My dear friends, being a parent is just beautiful. As I sit in my favourite spot in my room, all relaxed and exhaling calmly, I cannot but thank God enough for the privilege of being a mother.

Listening to RoofTop Mc's song, I agree that I should be hit with a base ball bat to bring me back to reality..

I am an activist for the right of single mothers in my capacity. Oh yes! It getting to that. I mean, who speaks for us? I recently started chatting some single ladies I noticed hawking "agege bread", just to heard their side o their storied. A lot of revelations made me curl up inside and  I decided to "do something" about it.

I want to believe that there are laws in place safe guarding these issues as regards the rights and privilleges of the average Nigerian woman and her children as the case maybe. I am not a lawyer but I am curious enough to dig into all in the Law tat partains to this.

I mean, as thought provoking as this is, Princess came back from school within the week and I noticed marks on her arm! What? From where? By whom?  Whatever reason? To te extent that are skin is all d? Wow! I am on the verge of exploding! Is there no Law on punishing a cild in any school in Lagos / Nigeria? I need ome education!

I calmly asked her what happened and was shocked as reply. She explained that the bell was rang for lunch n l h tudents were expected to go t the dinning hll u h as o ngorssed in the literature novel ( Oliver Twist) she was reading that she did not hear the bell. The next thing was random caning by one of her teachers!

I really wanted to get to the root of the matter an and I called up her class teacher. He wasn't aware of what transpired and I didn't buy that at all. A few calls and twits later, I was made to understand that there is a law enacted to curb these excesses. Maybe some other parents might take it lying low, I completely don't approve of the use of cane on a child to the extent that the skin is the skin is torned up like what I saw on my Princess.

I have called the attention of the school authority t tis sa next time would not be taken so lighty.

 Do you all think I over did it? I am digging into reading more on the rights and privilleges of the opressed women and child. Who knows, I might just save a soul!

Mind Your Language

. SpS

I had thought this would be easy to put together but its been a roller coster week for me as Christmas hustling and traffic congestion in Lagos metropolis is at its peak.

I have sat down on my desk in the last two night but never got to conclude on which on Monica's stories from the NYSC orientation camp should come first.  At least that's what I thought until this happened in my very presence today.

Many a time, especially when we travel to another state, country we get the impression that our dialect can be used to get away with any vices or tight corners as the case maybe.  One of such was the case today when I stopped by a shop to buy some provisions for the house. One look at me, would give me away as a lady from the South South of Nigeria (Ibo, Calabar, Efik) and so was the impression with these sales girls. Just because I made enquiries that offended them, they went ahead and were insulting me in Yoruba. Unknown to them, I was born, bred, even nationalise here in Lagos, so tell me, how can I not understand all the polite insult these small pikins were throwing in my direction all while saying 'aunty mi' to moi?  I ignored them until I was through with my shopping and gave a tip to one of them that never contributed to the whole show but kept quiet. They were shocked to their bones of course on hearing me speak my second language without giving myself away as from the South South of the Country (*winks).

So back to Monica's gist how some Businessman lost clients ( Corpers) as a result of his using his language to his detriment. A very vital point in business dealings I must say. She sais in the camp, they are expected to be clean always in their white Tshirts and short ( Bum shorts for some fashionistas). This meant that the washing would have to be given out to dry-cleaners in the area.  Of course, that was no problem for the smart ones who had quickly taken advantage of the resumption of the Corpers to the camp.

The price list was like this: Tshirt = N50, Short =N50,  Socks = N20, Shoes=N50

The locals made brisk business from these Corpers no bi joke.There was no time to be doing all the washing and be able to meet up with other scheduled activities at the camp. These were washed, ironed, packaged and delivered in nylons . So imagine having 100 Corpers as clients?  Wow! Even 20 was enough. There was this particular guy who happen to have a client in Monica's room, other rooted for another guy. On the day he came to deliver the washed clothes, his client wasn't around and so he was asked to drop them with another of her room mate. Instead of just dropping the clothes or objecting to and come again another time, the guy just went on insulting the client's friend in the 'dry-cleaner's local language not knowing that one of the other room mates understood every word.

That simply sealed it for him as it was not clear that no one else would now be using him. He lost all  and if not much more.

What's the morale of this? I would say never insult your client whether in English or any other language in his presence or that of this friends.  It's bad for business.

Have you had any such experience

Medical Check ups, how often do you get one?

The weekend was fabulous as I had time to rest very well. I really needed one as my health had become a major concern to me recently.

My girlfriend, Rosemary, had her traditional wedding on Saturday ( I had planned and gotten my camera ready for full digital covering of the event but for my health).

*Rosemary is a Ghanaian. We have been friends for years now and I was looking forward to witnessing her traditional wedding if not for anything  but to have an idea of what its like.

Hmmm, my friends, I was adviced to take things easy but when you are young and agile, you think your energy level will always remain as it was when you were 18years old. Well, so off to the hospital I went on thursday to do some check up, especially as I was always feeling like fainting so very often.

Just like I had assummed, my Blood Pressure was on the rise. The nurse looked at me and asked what I have been thinking?  Inside of me, I quietly wondered what have I not been thinking?  Oh yes, you slowing drift away into that thought world of yours hwere everything gets solved just by your thinking about it.  I am only human and a single mother who wants the best for her Princess.


I made up my mind to calm down take things easy. I don't know how it started but I decided to follow all the advice my doctor gave me and take my medications too.

I missed the wedding and slept in all weekend. I did go to church though but that was all.  I value life and would want to live long enough to be there for Princess as she growns up.


I miss my little niece Monica.who was posted to her orientation camp in Makurdi will be coming back home on Tuesday ( getting home will be Wednesday ) in preparation for the one year compulsory National Youth Service (NIgeria) . She has been filling me in on a lost of gist from the Orientation camp. I have a whole book of some of these gist.

Right From The Cooking Pot!

 Hello friends, its been a while since I was here last, its been a lot of work trying to put finishing touches to things as the year draws to a close.

I know I have missed a lot of you especially YOU. Thank you for your emails. I really appreciate it.

I want to share this particular post with as many of you that likes food and especially home cooked meals prepared specially by our loved one ( who know how to cook).  For me, I steal time away to go to the one person who is an expert on this matter - my fairy godmother!
Hmmm, trust me she is good. Who say Calabar ( Efik) Efik woman no sabi cook?

Please note that you will have to specially request for the recipes of these ones in the pictures and others that I will be bringing your way much later.  I just know how to eat, shikena!


Have a lovely weekend everyone.

 

Girl Flogged to Death! Who is to Blame?

I have  received a lot of correspondence as regards my last post. Its a wonder what some prent sweep under the carpet. Why do we allow ourselves to hurt so much? What are we afraid of? I am available for dm / chat @singlenaijamum (Twitter).

I came across this story and want to know what you ll hink. The Activist in me is serious being worked up, I tell you all.

A 12-year-old pupil of a secondary school in Awka, Anambra State, Miss Chidimma Ukachukwu, has died after she was allegedly flogged by her teacher for failing to do her homework.

A reliable source in the school told the News Agency of Nigeria in Awka on Tuesday that the girl died on Thursday last week after she was flogged.

The source explained that the girl fainted after being flogged severally by a female teacher and was subsequently rushed to an undisclosed hospital, where she died.

The source also told NAN that the Commissioner for Education, Mrs. Uju Okeke, then ordered the closure of the school as a result of the incident.

A NAN correspondent, who visited the girl’s family home, soon after she was buried on Tuesday in Awka, reports that the family was in grief.

The girl’s father, Mr. Simeon Ukachukwu, confirmed the incident, saying it was a sad development. He added that it was an act of God.

But when Okeke was contacted, she denied ordering the closure of the school and said that the school was on midterm break.

NAN investigation, however, revealed that schools in the state were not on midterm break.

This fact was corroborated by an official of the Nigerian Union of Teachers in Akwa South Local Government Area.

The Chairperson of the union in the local government, Miss Buife Ndigwe, told NAN that primary and secondary schools in the state would go on midterm break next week.

When contacted, the Public Relations Officer of the state police command, Mr. Ralph Uzoigwe, said that the matter had not been reported to the police, but promised that it would be investigated


source;
http://www.punchng.com/news/teacher-flogs-12-year-old-pupil-to-death/

A Tribe Called Royal

How super is a mother? With all the superpowers that we exhibits every time our kids have any issue or challenge, I bet in their eyes, no mother can compare to their's because we are built specially to move mountains. Hmmm, I have come to this conclusion recently as my Princess came home with a report that shocked me to my bones.

For a while back now, I have been relaxed as what would have resulted in our very first misunderstanding, was resolved. Oh yes! We got there. These days kids know and stand for their rights! Mine is no exception.

My dear pips of Blogville, I still have butterflies in my stomach. My Princess refused answering her biological father's name! This was very shocking to me and I could not bring myself to explain to her how someday she will come to appreciate being from her tribe ( on the account that her dad from the Eastern part of Nigeria). My Princess completely refused and changed all names on books to my surname!

Yesterday was cultural day in her school. Last weekend prior to yesterday, the preparation for the attire to suit the tribe was war as she kept reminding me of how she is a Princess and would want me to get the regalia that suits a princess from my part of the country. Wow! A tribe called ROYAL!

I did not disappoint as SUPERMOM got geared up and about to carry out the royal decree. I had to ensured that my Princess looked like one in all ramifications. I love this job!

Cultural day in schools these day is a welcome development indeed as children gets to learn a lot about the different tribes and cultures of their beloved country. They are even given assignments to get them researching more on the various tribes in the country and heir different cultures.

Kudo to all the mothers who helped made their children Prince and Princesses

Supporting My grieving Neighbour

The last two weeks since the resumption of school children to their various schools has seen mothers being up with their games, joggling all from waking up early to get the household ready and get herself off to work or business as the case may be.

For every busy Lagosian, its no news. This brings me to how much Mrs Edafe must be going through right now. She is yet to heal from the emotional trauma of lossing her 2 days old baby as well as coping with the normal school runs since schools resumed.

She has no house help nor nanny. Her hubby tries as I have noticed that he has been going very late to work. I suspect he must be the one preparing the children for school. Madam's mother came to be with them for a few days but what could the old woman possibly do? Her other siblings came and stayed a few days but have all returned to their base. Now she is all alone.

I did go visit her again to know if she needed any help. The pains people bottle inside even when the outside is looking all flashy and tushed!  She particularly asked me to help her look for any househelp that will be living with them as she needs to rest well so as to enable her wound heal fast enough.

How about the kids, I had asked her.  She surprised me by informing me how she has had no choice but to drive them to school herself! What?  Wonderful.  I was shocked.

Where can one get a househelp for this woman?  The stress is just too much. As she was narrating her predicaments, I just pity this woman.  I am almost making up my mind to remain a one child single mother! Haba! See tears flowing freely down her cheeks.

I am going to take this seriously and help my friendly neighbour. She needs help and urgently too

NB:  As I think about this, I am curious to ask this inner voice on the inside of my head a very troubling question.  I mean, as I reflect on how Madam Edafe was going about flaunting her preganacy and screaming on top of her voice for whoever cares to listen that she is pregnant, what is the assurance that some "men /women in BLACK" alias witches didnt take the time to make it ther business to teach her some lessons?

I know, I know, why would I even go there, abi? Well, I am just asking , its still in my head.

I came across this write up and I must say it has helped me to understand what Mrs Edafe is going through right now and also help me to give a few tips or two during my visits to her flat.

Coping with the loss of a newborn baby

Sadly, about one in 300 babies die during their first 28 days of life. This article explains some of the reasons why "neonatal" death happens. It has suggestions for what to do and how to cope if you have lost a baby. It may also be helpful if you are supporting a friend or family member who has suffered a loss.

What are my choices when my baby dies?

Your choices about what to do when your baby dies are very personal, there is no right or wrong. You and your partner may think differently, or you may need time to decide what you want. The hospital should respect your wishes, whatever you ultimately decide.

Research has shown that many parents find touching and holding their baby at this time extremely helpful. This is especially the case if a baby has spent days in an incubator attached to tubes in a special care baby unit.

The heartbreaking moments when their baby is dying or shortly after death may be the first time that parents have been able to hold their baby properly. Some parents also choose to wash and dress their baby themselves or take photographs.

Will I be able to find out what went wrong?

The reason why a baby died can sometimes be determined by conducting a post mortem examination ("autopsy").

A post mortem can:

• identify a cause or causes of death

• provide information about the baby’s development

• provide information about any health problems which will help your doctor to care for you in a future pregnancy.

However, a post mortem does not always provide a specific reason for what happened and this can be very frustrating. You do not have to agree to a post mortem. Some parents decide against it because of personal, religious or cultural reasons.

To help you make the decision, the hospital staff should give you as much information as you need. No investigations or tests will be done without your consent, and your views and wishes should be respected. You may need a little time to think about your decision. However, the sooner the post mortem is done, the better the information is likely to be.

If you decide to go ahead with a post mortem examination, you will be asked to give written consent before it is carried out. It may be possible for you to see your baby again after the post mortem. The staff should tell you in advance if this will be feasible and, if so, what your baby might look like. If staff advise you against seeing her after the post mortem, you may want to say your goodbyes beforehand. You should also be told when the post mortem results are likely to be available, and given an appointment to discuss them with the doctor.

What causes neonatal death?

Most babies who die in their first month of life are either born prematurely or have a low birth weight.

However, many babies are born before their systems can cope with life outside the womb.

Breathing (respiratory) problems are the most common cause of serious illness and death in premature babies. Premature babies are particularly at risk from complications such as:

• respiratory distress syndrome (RDS) or pneumonia

• bleeding in the brain (intraventricular haemorrhage)

• infections acquired in the womb, or during or after delivery

• inflammation of the large and small intestine (necrotising enterocolitis).

The second major cause of neonatal death is congenital abnormalities such as heart or lung defects.

I can't seem to get over the loss of my baby. Where can I find help?

While some people want to get "back to normal" as quickly as possible, others need time to recover. You are coping with the trauma of loss and you need time to mourn. , or talk to people who have been through a similar experience.

How will my body recover?

During the first few weeks you will have some vaginal bleeding ("lochia") and intermittent period-like pain. If the bleeding or pain gets worse or you have a foul-smelling vaginal discharge, contact your GP straight away.

You may find that your breasts produce milk. This can be uncomfortable and very distressing, as a constant physical reminder of your loss. There is medication that can stop lactation. However, research shows that the discomfort can return for a short time after the course of medication is finished. Some women prefer to avoid medication and let their milk dry up naturally. If you decide to let nature take its course, your midwife should be able to suggest ways to keep you as comfortable as possible.

You will be offered a check-up after six weeks, either at the hospital or with your GP. This is good chance to ask questions about the possible causes of the pregnancy loss and the implications for any future pregnancy.

It may take a little time for your body to get back to its pre-pregnancy state.
You will be entitled to all your maternity rights, so don't feel pressured to return to work before you're ready.

What are the implications for a future pregnancy?

This depends on the cause of the baby's death. If the reason was a congenital abnormality, you may be referred for genetic counselling to assess the risks and discuss your options for a future pregnancy.

If your baby was born prematurely, there is a slightly higher risk of your next baby being premature - about a one in six (15 per cent) chance, according to the baby charity, Tommy's. However, this means that 85 per cent of women in this situation go on to have a normal, full-term pregnancy.

There are steps you can take to reduce the risk of premature birth in future. For example, women who smoke during their pregnancy have been found to be at higher risk. This is because smoking reduces the amount of oxygen in the blood stream, which in turn deprives the growing baby of oxygen.

You should take the necessary precautions to avoid infection from listeriosis, salmonella and toxoplasmosis during pregnancy, and try to keep yourself as healthy as possible. It is important that you attend all your antenatal appointments. As your pregnancy progresses, you will be closely monitored by your obstetrician and midwife for any warning signs of early labour.

The decision to try for another baby can be difficult. It may be the last thing on your mind, or it may be all you can think about. Some women have an overwhelming urge to be pregnant again as soon as possible. Any subsequent pregnancy is likely to be very stressful.


Source

Different Moments

The past few weeks has been very challenging and trying to fix things back together didnt seem to be working out like I had assumed it would.

I have missed blogging. I sincerely had my writing pad full of all the things I wanted to share with everyone but the more I tried, the more the distractions and of course school resumed and I just simply crashed out every other night.

Blogger suddendly changed the format on my dashboard and I can't seem to find the attach pctures icon and so, posting my write-ups without pictures was not very appealing to me, so I waited to find out why . This has thus lingered. Also needless to point out that whilst remoing my memory to have some "Owambe" pictures printed out for yours truely, it was corrupted at the photo studio. Phew.

So my dear readers, I am going to have to write without any pictures posted until I can have this figured out and sorted oout fast.

In other news, a lots has happened and my life has not only become busier but also goign through a little tilting towards romance, *winks* if you get my drift. More on this in our subsequent gist ( I am sure we all want to know how about the happen ending).

Mrs Edafe lost her baby after two day of delivery.  So sad.

Irony of life. While the all educated and tushed couple who had planned ths to be their last bus stop at child bearing were crying and keeping their loss to themseles, our dear security man threw a large party in our very before for the 7days muslim prayers for his new born baby girl! Wonderful!

That's to say while Madam Edafe was announcing to the whole community that she was pregnant, , somebody else was quietly nursing a pregnant wife.

Anyway, I went to share in their pain as I had earlier gone to celebrate with the jubilating security man ( who now has four kids in that small one room by our gate) Hmmmm. I can't shout.

I wish everyone a wonderful week ahead. As for me and my fellow Nigerians, there is public holday today. I am going to be celebrating our nation's 52nd birthday celebration with the rest of Nigeran.

Long Live the Federal Republic of Nigeria!

 

 

 

Thank you

My friends of Blogville, this mama, needed some serious alone time to recover emotionally. I had become drained.

I tried a few tips to help me get myself back but it didn't seem to work.I don't think I have the complete tips to follow on how to get myself back from such a long emotional drain. Would anyone share a few of their's with me? I will really appreciate it.

The road to my recovery has taken a few weeks. For those who have been worried about me, I apologise for leaving without saying a word. I am sorry.

I am so grateful for all the love I received while  I was away. I am grateful. I appreciate you @Simply Mee, I love you girlfriend.

And now to all those who I cant mention their names, I love you all more than you can ever know.

Thank you

Owambe party groove.....representing

The saying goes thus 'awuf dey run belle'. Well, abeg make una no blame me. Na as the parring come become I wan yan everybodies, lol.

I had so much fun yesterday. Let me break the gist down as demanded for by my amebo alias aproko girlfriend @Simply Mee."Ol' gurl, you too like tori! Haba! I never even ready to upload all the gist but you no fit just wait!

Pictures dey Twitter! Gbam, others to be uploaded later from my laptop for instant gist, please bear with me as my blackberry is doing overload for now.

Dresses in the colour code of groom; yellow was left with my gele which was yet to be ties. At the car part, I battled with the gorgeous yellow gele ( headtie) to no avail. Yes o. I  didnt want to give myself away that I was heading for a social function that hot afternoon ( as my gele would have simply sold me out) . My neighbours would be backbitting if I tied it by that time of the day on a Thursday ( its not so common to have weddings on Thursday). So I packaged my gele in a small carrier bag, with the intention to tie it when I get to the venue. What a disappointment! For where? I  couldnt flip my hands round it the way I thought I would. What! Na by like this? which kind disgrace na? My dressing was not going to be complete without the head gear!

Just as I was battling to sort mine out, using the car window as my mirror ( as I for do?) Behold see other ladies battling away a few feet away from me. Tempted to ask for help as the one tying it for the other lady seem to be doing a very good job was met by a very polite insult. ha! na polite insult na as she explained that she just tried it once and it stayed well on her partner's head.

So,I kept trying my luck until I came up with a little close to perfect tying was achieved. Ha! Women with our wahala! Anyway, needless to say that time was far spent and a lot was happening inside, I had to rush inside before missing out of the fun.

I had a special seat just beside the couple during the introduction ceremony, then, the after party just shifted seats cos of the bandstand, to give room for dancing and other activities. This time , I and my fairy godmother( I do have one for real)  and sisters sat behind the couple. It was a special table , hehehe. I dey feel like? Ye ye, lol.

Anyway, it was fun and I am glad I went. A lot of comedian and comediens came. The Don, Alibaba, RMD and his lovely wife, Gbenga Adeyinka, The Professor, Abbey, Bovi, Lepacious Bose, AY and his wife were also present amongst others.

Music was supplied by the evergreen Commander Ebenezer Obey and Sir Shina Peters.

Food and drinks was enough for everyone and for those who wanted to take away too. The hall , flower arrangement was simple elegant, beautiful and just approciate! On point!

This is affirming that I had 'mad fun' @Dayor. I intend to have a more spectacular and exciting groove on Saturday as all those special guests who couldn't make it on Thursday will be representing well.

PS: Princess kept calling every 10minutes just to check on me and know how I was doing! My safety was of paramount priority! Love her loads.

By the way, I had to remove my lovely gele so as to ease the pain in my ears, make I no go do shakara wound myself :)

This is wishing Teju Babyface and Tobi happy married life!

Going Paparazzi as Teju Babyface weds

I want to thank everyone who has been praying for Sam to be found. Thank you and may God continue to protect, guard and guide us all. He is yet to be found and we are very hopeful that he will be found ALIVE ad WELL soon.

The whole incidence has completely killed the shine off so many things round and about me. I am try to come out of the shock gradually. I mean I almost blanked out on other happenings around me!

Today ( thursday) and Saturday is a huge one as Teju Babyface's traditional wedding ceremony / party and wedding comes up. Yours truely will be attending. Na strictly by invitation!  I ve gotten mine, *winks*

I learnt  the Invites were not much so as to guarantee all invited guests had the best of fun at both events. Wow! I can just picture how the whole venue today being agog with different attires, shining yellow lace and gold gele ( head tie) for the groom and the bride is purple. It will be something else.

Who's colour code am I going to be ? Drum roll......... The cutest Comedian of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, Teju Babyface!

I have taken it upon myself to be a paparazzi,  from my sitting position that is, lol. Yes ke, I have to keep you all posted na. hehehehe. Check for immediate uploads via my Twitter account @singlenaijamum

Its gonna be fun, I can tell.

Miscarriages; let's talk about it

This is one of those topics considered sacred and usually swept under the carpet.

Its common among primate mothers. I went though this experience thrice during my pregnancy of Princess.

It was no joke, worse still, nobody prepared me for such horrid experience. Most primate mothers suffer from this and and try not to talk about it, while other are still yet to get over it as conception after that has becoming an herculean task.

I was lucky I had able hands to help me through it but the paisnthree times of the experience but luckyingly I came out with my child and an experience that am sure will help other ladies.

I want to share this write up with us ( its a long post, please bear with me) and maybe it could help someone out there too. Happy reading.

Miscarriage, why hide and make it a stigma? Today’s guest post has been bravely provided by freelance Medical writer and Broadcaster, Laura-Jane Busby.

Although glaring close and raw for her to write, Laura has sensitively and wonderfully provided insight into how it feels for a woman to experience miscarriage.  We hope it comforts and supports many of you who have also expereinced this painful loss as well as educates and informs those who have not had to deal with the issue personally.

This time last year I was in early pregnancy.

It would be in a matter of weeks I would learn that our baby had died.

The thud of the news, the muffled sound of the sonographers’ glide over my tummy, the utterance of a final calling  …words that will haunt me forever.  How were we to know that miscarriages were so common? That they could go undetected, that little ones could exist, lie dormant, when they had passed away. A missed miscarriage no less. There was much we had to learn, my husband and I. Much of which isn’t spoken about or socially accepted and understood. An odd enigma of sorts.

If we crunch the numbers, it is a surprising reality that a miscarriage and its tremendous sense of loss affects a 1/4 of all women who become pregnant. Indeed some figures would suggest that every fourth woman you see in the street or at the supermarket, will have experienced one, and depending on age or area this figure could be higher. But the phenomenon doesn’t end there, it bends much further and wider than one might imagine.

For 15% of all fertilised eggs degenerate before they are able to implant. Of those embryo’s that do implant, at least 30% are unable to progress into a recognisable pregnancy (expelled in the normal rhythm of a menstrual cycle). Collectively these figures show that 60%, nearly 2/3rds, of all conceptions are lost. Astoundingly most women will experience at least 2 miscarriages in their lifetime unbeknownst to them.

Medicine is stark if not eye opening for all of us who have experienced a miscarriage. And yet little publicity or tenure is given to this familiar occurrence. Bookshop shelves are bare, literature scantily found, & few public forums exist on the subject. Perhaps it is the inherent shame, the terrible blame that accompanies miscarriage, which stifles the ability to communicate openly.

Perhaps the media nullifies any need for press due to ignorance in how it affects those concerned. It is a symbiotic slicing and dicing of what we think occurs and what actually does. People’s perceptions can often be wrong, and so the unbelievable silence around the physical and emotional angst which accompanies a loss of this kind continues to go unheard.

The cause and the canker that is “fault” petulantly played with us from day one. That desperate human need to understand, against the tide of lacking publications and talking workshops. It was an isolating path of search and find, littered with self-blame, and a sense of grueling ineptness. A route well traveled by most after a fetal loss. Our solace was found in the miscarriage association’s experiential support, and friends who had been there before.

It was amazing how many came out of the woodwork to coalesce that they too had suffered not just 1 but 2,3,4 &5 miscarriages before going to full-term and producing a wonderful bundle of mini-them’s.

There is an anathema in society, a presumption made by the naïve that something is awfully wrong. It is those pitiful stares, those limp wet looks that cloud my memories and strengthen my preserve to educate. For miscarriages are a natural part of creations process. They do not mean you are faulty or any less effeminate. For some there is a cause and effect, but this refers to a minority. For the vast majority miscarriage presents itself simply as a chromosomal abnormality, which is incompatible to life.

The mortal reality that nature is not perfect, and the odd realisation that we all possess some good and some bad eggs, that men produce super and not so super sperm. Though I’m sure most chaps would contest thisJ It is an unhealthy fusion, which leads to an unviable chromosomal mismatch, and subsequent fetal loss, not “you!” For me the sting of the personal was removed upon learning this, one can only hope this might be the same for you…

Following our second miscarriage the dormant wasp of failure struck harshly at my built up, reader-led walls. Those positive energies were rain stormed with doubt. Vulnerable, I was again open to all. The lurking shame resurfaced, and an inadequacy hung like an over matured crumbling cheese in my passageways. A cauldron of ‘broken’ was stirring in my inner goddesses sanctum. That precious place for femininity and creation. Despite the logic the commonality and its numerous battles, the head could do nothing but whir and spin.

In essence I felt powerless and deeply hurt, betrayed by all that I trusted in my environment, betrayed by my body.

Like a wave you learn to ride it, you learn to re-gather your courage and ken your knowledge. Using resources and friends close to hand who can soothe the fretful brow.  Sadly the process has taken longer this time for me, and despite all the science I still battle with a cruel feeling of not performing well, of being sub-standard, below par. It’s a scout I dare say will not be shifted easily.

Sometimes in my darkest moments I find if I look more widely at how intricate the bodies mechanics are, how so many possibilities can offer themselves, I begin to understand. For everything contributes to our here and now, and what occurs next is all about timing, placement and matter. Life is always uncertain until it has happened. This is a part of nature’s magic and its pain.

Only out of great vulnerability did my husband and I discover what mettle we had. We found a bottom drawer of emotions that we didn’t know existed.

Miscarriage happens to so many, and yet it is only when it occurs that you realise how important children are to you. Ironically the fairytale we held as children slides into the reality gear. The rose tinted spectacles come off, and life becomes so much more valuable than before.


For more information and support you could also contact:

THE MISCARRIAGE ASSOCIATION: www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk

Unveiling Singlenaijamum

Pain brings out the other side of us that we sometimes not aware of. So true. I am still trying to get myself together as I struggle to come to terms with Samuel's disapperance. Its been three weeks and counting. Just broken.

I have updated my profile with picture of me for friends and everyone.

This whole incidence of Samuel's disappearance has turned me into a different person altogether....a new page for me and my whole family. It has opened me up to other single mothers going through a lot of challenges. Mothers with special children also ;My Life: As mom to a child with "special needs"(www.cpaware.blogspot.com).

I just discovered how we all need a shoulder t lean on, as and when we  go through these challenges. Nobody said we are suppose to go through them all alone.

I certainly need a circle of friends cos its a bumpy road to go all alone.

How was your weekend friends?

I need your prayers

Hello friends, I need your prayers.

The last two weeks has had its toll on me . This particular incidence blew me off my seat from my comfort zone.

What am I talking about? My little nephew has been missing for the past 2weeks now. Shocked is an understatement. We have combed everywhere, yet no sign of him.

Opeyemi, is my first cousin. She is the mother of Femi, Sam and Timi. Sam has Down Syndrome. He 12years old. Over the years, he hs over came a lot o h challenges that are associated with kids with this mental challenge.

Two Sundays ago, Blessing, Ope's younger sister called me to ask me if I had returned from church as they were coming over to my house. I laughed, thinking she was pulling my legs and was up to one o her pranks, but she calmly tried to hide the panic in her voice as she asked to know if Sam was at my place? Odd! I laughed and told her 'no' as Sam would not have left the church yet until Pastor had finished counselling and  church building firmly closed.

Alarmed, asked so mny questions at the same time but so hocked to find out that they have actually been looking for him since the previous day, Saturday!

Sam a special kid, gifted even with his special challenge. He loves going to church. He can even be mistaken for a normal kid but for the fact that he has a few traces that made his parent enrol him in the school for special kids like himself.

I learnt he only went to buy a loaf of bread four blocks away from their house. It wasn't the first time as the church building is the fifth building.

Where is Sam? This is trying period for us as a family. We have put up missing child annoucements in radio, newspapers, handbills, yet no news of Sam.

Its been tears and so many 'had I known' by Opeyemi. Please friends, pray for Sam to be found.

I thank you for your anticipated prayers. God bless

"Can't you see I am PREGNANT"!

Hello my pih poh, how are you all doing? ( Warning, that's the way gossips gets your attention).

Thank goodness, I am not one, I only want to bring a few issues out so that when I am going on with current happenings you guys won't be left out.

This brings me to this particular gist. A lot has been going on in my compound , yeah, so true. The early morning yelling at each other on days that another tenant who intends going out early, delays another who has a early appointment, all hell is let loosed.

Yesterday was one of such days. I mean, everybody got to know that Mrs. Edafe is  pregnant! What? Pregnancies has to be announced these days o! Or how else do I come to terms with how Madam was going on and on about her fragile state of health. Na so, her husband don get better work na, abi, so "go and replenish the earth" na the next thing as the Holy Bible instructed, lol.

Mr. Edafe is a smart man. He is never caught up in any of these scenes at all. he parks outside the compound until everyone is done parking for the night before he parks his car and the gate is locked for the day.

The competition between Mr Cletus and Mr. Edafe is so obvious and the cold war glaring for all to see as he recently bought a Tokunbo 2009 camry for his wife ( she can't drive, he paid a driver who comes in every morning to move the car and also teach her how to drive).its been 6weeks now though.

Yesterday morning, Mrs Cletus driver show up on time and Mr Cletus had e out, so no one to move the car for Mrs Edafe! Wahala! This was about 7:40am, she needed to get to the hospital for her atenatal but had to drop her kids for summer classes before going to he hospital.

"Can't you see I am pregnant"! "Do you want me to run late for my appointment"? For real? Abeg, which woman screams like that, announcing to h whole world that h pregnant? I needed to get the full gist. Behold, the rivalry between car owners has brewed to this stage when, even flaunting of pregnancy was the next big thing. I tire! We are not living in face-me-I-face-you compound but block of flats for goodness sake!

Madam Edafe, needed to show off and disgrace Madam Cletus that can't drive.

I just closed my blinds and continued with my  life jeje as I rounded up what I was doing before going out.

I bet the next challenge for the Cletus would be to get baby NO. 5 into their programme!

Colour Me Blue.

 I am crazy about the colour BLUE!

What has colour got to do with it?  I say a lot actually.  For many of those who know me ( and those who will eventually). 

The colour Blue symbolises youth, spirituality, truth, peace and distance. All these are my basic attributes, *wink*. 

Blue is the coolest colour, its the colour of the sky, ocean, sleep twilight.

In ancient Egyptian times, the colour Blue was used to represent Heaven. In the Catholic Church, the colour Blue symbolises the Virgin Mary. ( I am not a Catholic).  A pure blue colour is the colour of inspiration, sincerity and spirituality. It is often the chosen colour by conservative people. 

A dark blue is the colour of truth and moderation. Over the years, a few Hollywood movie stars have stood out as a result of their eye iris being blue in colour.  Among them is the gorgeous Vanessa Williams.

A blue iris means your friendship is very important to me. Little wonder why Vanessa Williams captures the hearts of many fans all over the globe.  Her blue eyes speaks volumes.  She is gorgeous and indeed very pretty.

 Blue is a masculine colour; according to studies, it is highly accepted among males. 

Turquoise is the symbol of youth, both the color and the gemstone. This color has a soothing affect. Turquoise is the color of communication. It contains the growth quality of green with the blue quality of communication. 

Blue is considered beneficial to the mind and body. It slows human metabolism and produces a calming effect. Blue is strongly associated with tranquillity and calmness. 

Blue is a masculine colour; according to studies, it is highly accepted among males. Dark blue is associated with depth, expertise, and stability.

    

 When the colour Blue is used together with warm colors like yellow or red, blue can create high-impact, vibrant designs; for example, blue-yellow-red is a perfect color scheme for a superhero. Superman, Wonderwoman ( Wendy Williams favourite Superhero), Spiderman Captain America.

 Amazingly, fashion consultants recommend wearing blue to job interviews because it symbolises loyalty. People are more productive in blue rooms.

The blue birdie allows me to be tweeting @singlenaijamum

What's your favourite colour? Red, black, green, blue, or pink?