Friday, 31 August 2012

Owambe party groove.....representing

The saying goes thus 'awuf dey run belle'. Well, abeg make una no blame me. Na as the parring come become I wan yan everybodies, lol.

I had so much fun yesterday. Let me break the gist down as demanded for by my amebo alias aproko girlfriend @Simply Mee."Ol' gurl, you too like tori! Haba! I never even ready to upload all the gist but you no fit just wait!

Pictures dey Twitter! Gbam, others to be uploaded later from my laptop for instant gist, please bear with me as my blackberry is doing overload for now.

Dresses in the colour code of groom; yellow was left with my gele which was yet to be ties. At the car part, I battled with the gorgeous yellow gele ( headtie) to no avail. Yes o. I  didnt want to give myself away that I was heading for a social function that hot afternoon ( as my gele would have simply sold me out) . My neighbours would be backbitting if I tied it by that time of the day on a Thursday ( its not so common to have weddings on Thursday). So I packaged my gele in a small carrier bag, with the intention to tie it when I get to the venue. What a disappointment! For where? I  couldnt flip my hands round it the way I thought I would. What! Na by like this? which kind disgrace na? My dressing was not going to be complete without the head gear!

Just as I was battling to sort mine out, using the car window as my mirror ( as I for do?) Behold see other ladies battling away a few feet away from me. Tempted to ask for help as the one tying it for the other lady seem to be doing a very good job was met by a very polite insult. ha! na polite insult na as she explained that she just tried it once and it stayed well on her partner's head.

So,I kept trying my luck until I came up with a little close to perfect tying was achieved. Ha! Women with our wahala! Anyway, needless to say that time was far spent and a lot was happening inside, I had to rush inside before missing out of the fun.

I had a special seat just beside the couple during the introduction ceremony, then, the after party just shifted seats cos of the bandstand, to give room for dancing and other activities. This time , I and my fairy godmother( I do have one for real)  and sisters sat behind the couple. It was a special table , hehehe. I dey feel like? Ye ye, lol.

Anyway, it was fun and I am glad I went. A lot of comedian and comediens came. The Don, Alibaba, RMD and his lovely wife, Gbenga Adeyinka, The Professor, Abbey, Bovi, Lepacious Bose, AY and his wife were also present amongst others.

Music was supplied by the evergreen Commander Ebenezer Obey and Sir Shina Peters.

Food and drinks was enough for everyone and for those who wanted to take away too. The hall , flower arrangement was simple elegant, beautiful and just approciate! On point!

This is affirming that I had 'mad fun' @Dayor. I intend to have a more spectacular and exciting groove on Saturday as all those special guests who couldn't make it on Thursday will be representing well.

PS: Princess kept calling every 10minutes just to check on me and know how I was doing! My safety was of paramount priority! Love her loads.

By the way, I had to remove my lovely gele so as to ease the pain in my ears, make I no go do shakara wound myself :)

This is wishing Teju Babyface and Tobi happy married life!

Wednesday, 29 August 2012

Going Paparazzi as Teju Babyface weds

I want to thank everyone who has been praying for Sam to be found. Thank you and may God continue to protect, guard and guide us all. He is yet to be found and we are very hopeful that he will be found ALIVE ad WELL soon.

The whole incidence has completely killed the shine off so many things round and about me. I am try to come out of the shock gradually. I mean I almost blanked out on other happenings around me!

Today ( thursday) and Saturday is a huge one as Teju Babyface's traditional wedding ceremony / party and wedding comes up. Yours truely will be attending. Na strictly by invitation!  I ve gotten mine, *winks*

I learnt  the Invites were not much so as to guarantee all invited guests had the best of fun at both events. Wow! I can just picture how the whole venue today being agog with different attires, shining yellow lace and gold gele ( head tie) for the groom and the bride is purple. It will be something else.

Who's colour code am I going to be ? Drum roll......... The cutest Comedian of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, Teju Babyface!

I have taken it upon myself to be a paparazzi,  from my sitting position that is, lol. Yes ke, I have to keep you all posted na. hehehehe. Check for immediate uploads via my Twitter account @singlenaijamum

Its gonna be fun, I can tell.

Sunday, 26 August 2012

Miscarriages; let's talk about it

This is one of those topics considered sacred and usually swept under the carpet.

Its common among primate mothers. I went though this experience thrice during my pregnancy of Princess.

It was no joke, worse still, nobody prepared me for such horrid experience. Most primate mothers suffer from this and and try not to talk about it, while other are still yet to get over it as conception after that has becoming an herculean task.

I was lucky I had able hands to help me through it but the paisnthree times of the experience but luckyingly I came out with my child and an experience that am sure will help other ladies.

I want to share this write up with us ( its a long post, please bear with me) and maybe it could help someone out there too. Happy reading.

Miscarriage, why hide and make it a stigma? Today’s guest post has been bravely provided by freelance Medical writer and Broadcaster, Laura-Jane Busby.

Although glaring close and raw for her to write, Laura has sensitively and wonderfully provided insight into how it feels for a woman to experience miscarriage.  We hope it comforts and supports many of you who have also expereinced this painful loss as well as educates and informs those who have not had to deal with the issue personally.

This time last year I was in early pregnancy.

It would be in a matter of weeks I would learn that our baby had died.

The thud of the news, the muffled sound of the sonographers’ glide over my tummy, the utterance of a final calling  …words that will haunt me forever.  How were we to know that miscarriages were so common? That they could go undetected, that little ones could exist, lie dormant, when they had passed away. A missed miscarriage no less. There was much we had to learn, my husband and I. Much of which isn’t spoken about or socially accepted and understood. An odd enigma of sorts.

If we crunch the numbers, it is a surprising reality that a miscarriage and its tremendous sense of loss affects a 1/4 of all women who become pregnant. Indeed some figures would suggest that every fourth woman you see in the street or at the supermarket, will have experienced one, and depending on age or area this figure could be higher. But the phenomenon doesn’t end there, it bends much further and wider than one might imagine.

For 15% of all fertilised eggs degenerate before they are able to implant. Of those embryo’s that do implant, at least 30% are unable to progress into a recognisable pregnancy (expelled in the normal rhythm of a menstrual cycle). Collectively these figures show that 60%, nearly 2/3rds, of all conceptions are lost. Astoundingly most women will experience at least 2 miscarriages in their lifetime unbeknownst to them.

Medicine is stark if not eye opening for all of us who have experienced a miscarriage. And yet little publicity or tenure is given to this familiar occurrence. Bookshop shelves are bare, literature scantily found, & few public forums exist on the subject. Perhaps it is the inherent shame, the terrible blame that accompanies miscarriage, which stifles the ability to communicate openly.

Perhaps the media nullifies any need for press due to ignorance in how it affects those concerned. It is a symbiotic slicing and dicing of what we think occurs and what actually does. People’s perceptions can often be wrong, and so the unbelievable silence around the physical and emotional angst which accompanies a loss of this kind continues to go unheard.

The cause and the canker that is “fault” petulantly played with us from day one. That desperate human need to understand, against the tide of lacking publications and talking workshops. It was an isolating path of search and find, littered with self-blame, and a sense of grueling ineptness. A route well traveled by most after a fetal loss. Our solace was found in the miscarriage association’s experiential support, and friends who had been there before.

It was amazing how many came out of the woodwork to coalesce that they too had suffered not just 1 but 2,3,4 &5 miscarriages before going to full-term and producing a wonderful bundle of mini-them’s.

There is an anathema in society, a presumption made by the naïve that something is awfully wrong. It is those pitiful stares, those limp wet looks that cloud my memories and strengthen my preserve to educate. For miscarriages are a natural part of creations process. They do not mean you are faulty or any less effeminate. For some there is a cause and effect, but this refers to a minority. For the vast majority miscarriage presents itself simply as a chromosomal abnormality, which is incompatible to life.

The mortal reality that nature is not perfect, and the odd realisation that we all possess some good and some bad eggs, that men produce super and not so super sperm. Though I’m sure most chaps would contest thisJ It is an unhealthy fusion, which leads to an unviable chromosomal mismatch, and subsequent fetal loss, not “you!” For me the sting of the personal was removed upon learning this, one can only hope this might be the same for you…

Following our second miscarriage the dormant wasp of failure struck harshly at my built up, reader-led walls. Those positive energies were rain stormed with doubt. Vulnerable, I was again open to all. The lurking shame resurfaced, and an inadequacy hung like an over matured crumbling cheese in my passageways. A cauldron of ‘broken’ was stirring in my inner goddesses sanctum. That precious place for femininity and creation. Despite the logic the commonality and its numerous battles, the head could do nothing but whir and spin.

In essence I felt powerless and deeply hurt, betrayed by all that I trusted in my environment, betrayed by my body.

Like a wave you learn to ride it, you learn to re-gather your courage and ken your knowledge. Using resources and friends close to hand who can soothe the fretful brow.  Sadly the process has taken longer this time for me, and despite all the science I still battle with a cruel feeling of not performing well, of being sub-standard, below par. It’s a scout I dare say will not be shifted easily.

Sometimes in my darkest moments I find if I look more widely at how intricate the bodies mechanics are, how so many possibilities can offer themselves, I begin to understand. For everything contributes to our here and now, and what occurs next is all about timing, placement and matter. Life is always uncertain until it has happened. This is a part of nature’s magic and its pain.

Only out of great vulnerability did my husband and I discover what mettle we had. We found a bottom drawer of emotions that we didn’t know existed.

Miscarriage happens to so many, and yet it is only when it occurs that you realise how important children are to you. Ironically the fairytale we held as children slides into the reality gear. The rose tinted spectacles come off, and life becomes so much more valuable than before.

For more information and support you could also contact:


Monday, 20 August 2012

Unveiling Singlenaijamum

Pain brings out the other side of us that we sometimes not aware of. So true. I am still trying to get myself together as I struggle to come to terms with Samuel's disapperance. Its been three weeks and counting. Just broken.

I have updated my profile with picture of me for friends and everyone.

This whole incidence of Samuel's disappearance has turned me into a different person altogether....a new page for me and my whole family. It has opened me up to other single mothers going through a lot of challenges. Mothers with special children also ;My Life: As mom to a child with "special needs"(

I just discovered how we all need a shoulder t lean on, as and when we  go through these challenges. Nobody said we are suppose to go through them all alone.

I certainly need a circle of friends cos its a bumpy road to go all alone.

How was your weekend friends?

Sunday, 12 August 2012

I need your prayers

Hello friends, I need your prayers.

The last two weeks has had its toll on me . This particular incidence blew me off my seat from my comfort zone.

What am I talking about? My little nephew has been missing for the past 2weeks now. Shocked is an understatement. We have combed everywhere, yet no sign of him.

Opeyemi, is my first cousin. She is the mother of Femi, Sam and Timi. Sam has Down Syndrome. He 12years old. Over the years, he hs over came a lot o h challenges that are associated with kids with this mental challenge.

Two Sundays ago, Blessing, Ope's younger sister called me to ask me if I had returned from church as they were coming over to my house. I laughed, thinking she was pulling my legs and was up to one o her pranks, but she calmly tried to hide the panic in her voice as she asked to know if Sam was at my place? Odd! I laughed and told her 'no' as Sam would not have left the church yet until Pastor had finished counselling and  church building firmly closed.

Alarmed, asked so mny questions at the same time but so hocked to find out that they have actually been looking for him since the previous day, Saturday!

Sam a special kid, gifted even with his special challenge. He loves going to church. He can even be mistaken for a normal kid but for the fact that he has a few traces that made his parent enrol him in the school for special kids like himself.

I learnt he only went to buy a loaf of bread four blocks away from their house. It wasn't the first time as the church building is the fifth building.

Where is Sam? This is trying period for us as a family. We have put up missing child annoucements in radio, newspapers, handbills, yet no news of Sam.

Its been tears and so many 'had I known' by Opeyemi. Please friends, pray for Sam to be found.

I thank you for your anticipated prayers. God bless

Tuesday, 7 August 2012

"Can't you see I am PREGNANT"!

Hello my pih poh, how are you all doing? ( Warning, that's the way gossips gets your attention).

Thank goodness, I am not one, I only want to bring a few issues out so that when I am going on with current happenings you guys won't be left out.

This brings me to this particular gist. A lot has been going on in my compound , yeah, so true. The early morning yelling at each other on days that another tenant who intends going out early, delays another who has a early appointment, all hell is let loosed.

Yesterday was one of such days. I mean, everybody got to know that Mrs. Edafe is  pregnant! What? Pregnancies has to be announced these days o! Or how else do I come to terms with how Madam was going on and on about her fragile state of health. Na so, her husband don get better work na, abi, so "go and replenish the earth" na the next thing as the Holy Bible instructed, lol.

Mr. Edafe is a smart man. He is never caught up in any of these scenes at all. he parks outside the compound until everyone is done parking for the night before he parks his car and the gate is locked for the day.

The competition between Mr Cletus and Mr. Edafe is so obvious and the cold war glaring for all to see as he recently bought a Tokunbo 2009 camry for his wife ( she can't drive, he paid a driver who comes in every morning to move the car and also teach her how to drive).its been 6weeks now though.

Yesterday morning, Mrs Cletus driver show up on time and Mr Cletus had e out, so no one to move the car for Mrs Edafe! Wahala! This was about 7:40am, she needed to get to the hospital for her atenatal but had to drop her kids for summer classes before going to he hospital.

"Can't you see I am pregnant"! "Do you want me to run late for my appointment"? For real? Abeg, which woman screams like that, announcing to h whole world that h pregnant? I needed to get the full gist. Behold, the rivalry between car owners has brewed to this stage when, even flaunting of pregnancy was the next big thing. I tire! We are not living in face-me-I-face-you compound but block of flats for goodness sake!

Madam Edafe, needed to show off and disgrace Madam Cletus that can't drive.

I just closed my blinds and continued with my  life jeje as I rounded up what I was doing before going out.

I bet the next challenge for the Cletus would be to get baby NO. 5 into their programme!

Monday, 6 August 2012

Colour Me Blue.

 I am crazy about the colour BLUE!

What has colour got to do with it?  I say a lot actually.  For many of those who know me ( and those who will eventually). 

The colour Blue symbolises youth, spirituality, truth, peace and distance. All these are my basic attributes, *wink*. 

Blue is the coolest colour, its the colour of the sky, ocean, sleep twilight.

In ancient Egyptian times, the colour Blue was used to represent Heaven. In the Catholic Church, the colour Blue symbolises the Virgin Mary. ( I am not a Catholic).  A pure blue colour is the colour of inspiration, sincerity and spirituality. It is often the chosen colour by conservative people. 

A dark blue is the colour of truth and moderation. Over the years, a few Hollywood movie stars have stood out as a result of their eye iris being blue in colour.  Among them is the gorgeous Vanessa Williams.

A blue iris means your friendship is very important to me. Little wonder why Vanessa Williams captures the hearts of many fans all over the globe.  Her blue eyes speaks volumes.  She is gorgeous and indeed very pretty.

 Blue is a masculine colour; according to studies, it is highly accepted among males. 

Turquoise is the symbol of youth, both the color and the gemstone. This color has a soothing affect. Turquoise is the color of communication. It contains the growth quality of green with the blue quality of communication. 

Blue is considered beneficial to the mind and body. It slows human metabolism and produces a calming effect. Blue is strongly associated with tranquillity and calmness. 

Blue is a masculine colour; according to studies, it is highly accepted among males. Dark blue is associated with depth, expertise, and stability.

 When the colour Blue is used together with warm colors like yellow or red, blue can create high-impact, vibrant designs; for example, blue-yellow-red is a perfect color scheme for a superhero. Superman, Wonderwoman ( Wendy Williams favourite Superhero), Spiderman Captain America.

 Amazingly, fashion consultants recommend wearing blue to job interviews because it symbolises loyalty. People are more productive in blue rooms.

The blue birdie allows me to be tweeting @singlenaijamum

What's your favourite colour? Red, black, green, blue, or pink?

Summer is Fun

Summer holiday and the kids are home on holiday, mothers are having their hands full and probably not have time for themselves.  I am a bit free ( for two weeks) because Princess is off to my sister's and I am "exhaling" real good and enjoying every moment of it.

However, there are a few tips of Do-It-Yourself beauty treatments tips that I want to share with other mothers who might not be as "free" as I am and would want to indulge themselves during this summer.

Summer is fun. These beauty treatments don't have to cost so much. You can keep looking your very best this summer at the lowest of budget.


For an easy and natural deep conditioner, blend 1/4 cup of plain yogurt, 1/4 cup of mayonnaise and the whites from one egg. 

Cover your hair with the mixture (run a wide tooth comb through your hair to make sure it’s evenly dispersed) and leave in for 30 minutes before rinsing it out. This will reverse dry and damaged hair.

Get rid of product build-up by mixing a small amount of baking soda in with your shampoo. This will clarify your hair and can make it more manageable over time.


It’s important to stick with a strict skin routine- even during the summer. It recommended to use a facial mask at least once a week to revitalize the skin.

There are tons of recipes out there for Do-It-Yourself facials, but I have tried out the combination of  one egg yolk, 1 tablespoon of honey, 1 tablespoon of plain yogurt and 1/2 teaspoon of extra virgin olive oil. Just leave the mixture on your face for 10 minutes and rinse it off. It’s a great mask for most skin types.

Oily Skin:
Oily or acne-prone skin, are advised to try a mask that will help soothe their skin. Take one ripe banana and blend it with 1 tablespoon of honey and 1 tablespoon of lemon juice. Leave on for 15 minutes.

Dry skin:                                
Try mixing half of a mashed avocado with 1/4 cup of honey for a mask that will add tons of moisture to your face. Leave on for 10 minutes. Sliced strawberries, grapes and cucumbers will act as natural toners to lighten your skin and shrink the pores of your skin.

Just rub the slices over your skin after cleansing. Oily skin? Try sliced lemons to reduce shine.

Simple Skin Exfoliator:
Blend together 3 tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil, 2 tablespoons of honey and 1/2 cup of sugar. This is a perfect scrub for the face because it gets rid of dead skin cells and re-hydrates the skin at the same time. It is advised that you use this 1 to 3 times a week depending on how sensitive your skin is.


Do you have some milk in your fridge? You could add it to your bath along with a few drops of extra virgin olive oil.

Milk is a natural moisturizer that can do wonders for your skin and the olive oil will make skin super soft. You can also add the milk/olive oil combo in a bowl with warm water to soak your hands or feet before giving yourself a  do-it-yourself manicure or pedicure.

Exfoliating is important,  You can use the same sugar scrub from above on your whole body, but if you want something different try a salt scrub

Salt Scrub:
Combine 1 cup of salt with 1 cup of extra virgin olive oil. Add a few drops of an essential oil in your favorite scent or get creative by adding the zest of an orange or lemon for a fresh and citrus-infused smell.
Sunburn are a big danger to a beautiful glowing skin, and can be prevented with aloe gels and lotions .

The natural way to relieve a sunburn is buy an aloe plant or if you have one in your garden , all the best. Add a tablespoon of baking soda into a quart of cool water. If you want to try the latter, just use a washcloth to apply it to the sunburned areas. Also, you can help prevent peeling by applying vinegar to the skin.


Beach Party

The whole going out this Saturday was as exciting for me as well as my sister, who ,couldn't believe I really meant it. I was sure the excitement was beyond her. Olawale, my new friend, lol, had called to confirm, I wasn't going to disappoint him.  That was the umpteen time. I reassured him that I wasn't going to miss it .

I got myself ready and dressed for the occasion. It was held at Eleko Beach, serene and the weather was just right, cool , not hot. 

We were about 20 persons in number.  The celebrant was Olawale's colleague in the office.  He name is Chisom. It was her birthday. She invited close friends and colleagues from her office.  didn't know anybody out of the faces that had arrived until much later when a few other couple joined us when I recognized an old school mate from way back in the secondary school.

My friend, Olawale, who invited me out for the party was such a gentleman. He ensured I was introduced to everyone. He wont take my excuse of just wanting to be myself.  I enjoyed myself. I realized that going out isn't as bad or as uptight as I had programmed in my mind. Life is indeed to shot not to be enjoyed.

What did I end up wearing?  Well, a three-quarter demi-jean and a hooded top . I needed to keep warm just in case the wind was too much on the beach.

I got talking with my new found friend from way back and a lot of gist from being married with all its pros and cons. That will be for another day.  She made me realize how I should enjoy my life now as I have found it because, soon , I will wish I did some many things on my own before tying the knot. Hmmm. I wonder what these things are! 

There was enough to eat and drink. It was fun, simply fun to let go and exhale real good. There was no string attachment and enough to laugh about as office pranks were exposed by all those who pulled them.

I was dropped at home by Olawale by 8:49pm. I simply had fun.  Nice.  I should do this more often,lol

Thursday, 2 August 2012

So Unbelievable!

Just when I thought I had wrapped this issue of Floxy and maternal mortality story, I came across this except from one of Nigerian newspapers. I want your comments please.

 Expectant Mothers to Hospital, Get N500 : FG tells Birth Attendants

The primary Health care system Development Agency, an agency of the Federal Government, says it will pay N500 to any traditional birth attendant who takes an expectant mother to an orthodox health centre or labour room!
Its Director, Dr. Abdullah Mohammed, told the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) in Abuja on Sunday that the incentive would hopefully contribute to a reduction in maternal mortality which had become worrisome.

"We have facilities that record 500 antenatal attendants in a month, but these same facilities may not register more than 50 births in a month; so the question is: Where are these other people delivered?

"We ve seen that many of them deliver at home.

"For any of them that brings a woman to delivery room, we pay them between N200 and N500; we can't start too high because we look at something that is sustainable"

Mohammed noted that the use of the traditional birth attendants called volunteers, had not been part of the formal health system in the past.

According to him, the traditional birth attendants play very important role in the northern part of the country, including Lagos and Ogun states.

Mohammed noted that for any country desirous of reducting maternal mortality, it must have skilled birth attendants as midwives. He said that the unfortunate situation in Nigeria was that midwives could not be available everywhere, "nothing" even where they are, some women still preper the traditional birth attendants".

The Director said the agency would make it clear to the traditional birth attendants not to take deliveries, but that they would be equiped with basic knowledge. "So the focus on TBAs will be in terms of promotion what we call "Key household practices"exclusive breastfeeding, family planning, attendance of antenatal clinic, ensuring that deliveries are carried out at the facility level.

"Bur beyond this we want to give them incentives for bringing a pregnant woman to the facility to deliver because this is happening in Rwanda and it is making a lot of impac in the health system". Mohammed said another issue the agency would tackle was the reluctance of some expectant mothers to attend orthodox health centres.

He said the agency would learn from a country like Indonisia where expectant mothers were allowed to be delivered at home but would have, at least a midwife in attendance. "We are not just looking at facility-based delivery alone: we are also looking at assisted home delivery. "We want the country to grow so that we move clearly to a level where we have close to 80% to 100% skilled birth attendance, which is still very low now; it is still below 40%. "If we must transit to a country with low maternal mortality, we have to work hard on that"

This serious indeed, N200 -N500? wonderful
Culled from PM News, Monday, 30 July, 2012 (page 4)