Tuesday, 30 April 2013

A Letter To My Bestie

I am so blessed to have friends that care and worry about me whenever I go on AWOL. This is to her ( you know yourself) and all who I hold very dear to my heart.

My darling, how are you doing? I have been so caught up again with work, I can't believe it myself. This is a miracle in itself cos most of last year all I was doing was structure how to commit suicide bt see the miracle of God, this year has been so hectic I barely have time to take a break. My dad is still in the hospital. I am yet to go see him. His bill is huge though due the gravity of his illness - near heart and liver failure!
 His phobia for hospital made the health detoriete to this level of almost losing him.

I am a mess right now dearie. I must confess and open up to you. I hear whenever the heavens wants to pour, it brings everything down with it. Mine is a sure good example.

My business is suffering a I am seriously lacking behind.

I should make u laugh? I managed to do 30 sit ups as my scheduled has become toooooo tight. I even cooked and baked a lovely cream cake for my Princess to snack on. I guess you could say I needed that to keep my mind off my stress and also remind myself that I am still good at baking cakes as my Princess birthday is approaching very soon.

I am sure being a single mother is more like being a SUPERMUM on a daily basis.

I have my hands really full and still have to wake up so early and sleep late. Its a beautiful life ( I envy myself)

I almost forgot, Princess school had their annual inter house sport last Thursday and she won a medal. Yes she did! The medal however was not for any of the races we talked about nor thought she would be put in but for 'Needle and Thread race'! Hillarious! Its all good, she won a gold medal that what counts! I still smile when I remember how the two of us had actually joked about it.

I miss you. Do have a blessed day dearie. Love you plenty

Friday, 19 April 2013

Just The Two of Us Gisting

When people get all excited about Fridays, I thought I knew it all as it spell out time to get down low and forget about all the stress of the week and all that.

I am joining everyone one to scream TGIF!

We are home this Friday! Yipppeeee! No location, no shooting and all the drama that is associated with it. So happy. Wow! I mean, time to do a recap with my Numero Uno Bff ....my Princess.

Before I continue, I am so ashamed of me right now, weight wise! I am weight 90kg! That is not so cool! How come?

This discovery has been pending waiting for me to wake up to taking my health especially what I eat into serios consideration but being busy, saddled with so much on my plate kept blinding me to the reality that stared me in the face. Well, I went to the hospital during the week to have our samples checked for any likelihood of malaria or any other infection that could have followed u hme from on our shooting location. While waiting for our turn to ee h Doctor, my Princess urged me to check my weight. I did not think twice and onto the scale I went.

So now, its confirmed! I am fat!

Next step is how to work it out asap! must keep into my clothes as I am not planning changing my wardroipe so soon!

As we sit and gist about our week, my Princess adviced me against working out at home with my workout videos as I might not be so committed. Hmmm. Nice point. I will get a gym close by to register with. A new one at that.

The new term is being taking seriously too by my Princess but the school has planned their annual Inter-House Sport for this term. As the various practice for the event is heating up among the different house, there is a little snag.

In my Princess house, the house master wants her to run 200 meters, while his assistance thinks a 100 meter dash will get them a medal , which is better.

Mainwhile, as we sit to gist this evening, my Angel is painting a vivid picture and I couldn't help laughing.

"My mummy, can you just imagine them arguing about which race I should run? Let's see, that will be 300 meters all together? I am all chubby like you, I am not fat though. I can't run. Can't they see. Match pass will be just perfect."

I am sure there is still time to fix this. I am taking this up am doing something about it.

By the way, we did not wait to collect the results because my Princess is so scared of needles and screamed down the whole lab. I only went back today to pick up the results.

Off to the new gym tomorrow morning we go and hopefully, we will be faithful and consistent.

Have a lovely weekend everyone.

Wednesday, 17 April 2013

I-can-do-it-by-myself mentality is a LIE. I need a Village

Recently, I have read a few articles on some celeb single mothers and was amazed at the depth of what they go through.  The one that touched me most is the one by Jill Scott, a lovely, strong and honest Black sister. Coming back home to relate with this life as a single mothers are Omawumi  and Monalisa Chinda amongst others. I know there are many others ( It will be my pleasure to hear your stories, who knows, you might just be helping a sister remain strong to carry on).

Below are excerpts from May edition of Ebony with Jill Scott's own take on the life of a single mother and the struggles that we have to face.

On being a single-mom:
That I-can-do-it-by-myself mentality is a lie. I’m sorry if I hurt anybody’s feelings, but you cannot do it all by yourself. You need a village: some aunties, grandmoms, friends. I couldn’t do this by myself and would be a fool to think I could.”

On raising a young man:
It’s challenging being a single mom…No matter what I do, I’ll never be a man. Ever. I can show Jett how to be a thinker, how to enjoy music or how to feel, and to conquer. But I cannot show him how to be a man.”

On motherhood:
Motherhood is getting your hands and your feet in the soil…When Jett puts my face in his hands and tells me, ‘Mommy you’re so pretty’ or smells me, it’s so wonderful.”

On being sexy:
The way I see things, I think that’s sexy. The way I think and the way I pray, I believe, are very sexy. I’ve never been the girl with too few clothes on. My mother told me… ‘It’s what you don’t do that makes you sexy moreso than what you do.’…”

Love the honesty!

Our Own Diva......Omawumi......The Wonder Woman

In an interview with Channels TV, Omawumi allowed access into a part of her personal life.

There was question on whether she regrets bringing a child to the world during that period of her life, Omawumi responded ‘She was more important than everything and everyone else‘.

She also confessed that people close to her had tried to talk her out of it but she that she ’had a blind conviction that nobody could talk her out of’. ‘Of course people tried to talk me out of it. I said let the career fall, I will back my daughter and sell tomatoes. She is more important to me‘.

She also talked on her marital status: ’I didn’t come with that intention to be a single parent, however, now that I’ve found myself in that position, I’m going to enjoy and walk in the stride until when God brings the man that will come and you know

Nollywood Screen Diva ...... Monalisa Chinda

Nollywood actress, Monalisa Chinda has stated that being a single parent is neither funny nor fun.

“One thing I regret most is the fact that I am divorced. Where I come from I am the first daughter. I am from a royal family. It has never been on record that the first daughter will walk out of her matrimonial home.

But it is a matter of life and death otherwise I would have stayed back and make my marriage work.
I tried to make it work but it takes two people to tango. That’s the only thing I regret, raising my child without the father.

It’s a bit painful. But I have to live with it. It’s better that way than to expose my daughter to all sorts of domestic violence. It will definitely disorient her and affect her upbringing. She will be dis-functional. God knows best,” she said.
She was speaking to Nigeria’s Showtime Media, about her former marriage and love life when she made the statement.
I would love to remarry. In fact, I am designed to be under a man. I am not going to lie that I like this single mother nomenclature.

I am striding daily with the grace of God through this journey of life. What else can I say when a lot of single mothers are out their carrying their own cross with different stories?

Need I say I need you all to help steady this 'load' from falling off?

Monday, 15 April 2013

Waking Up to My New Reality

 Its been another hectic weekend gone with all the 'dry runs', Roll tape!, 'Action!', 'Quiet on set!' All mouth on Mute! Yes, that's how my weekend was spent while I was on set with Princess and the rest of the cast crew.

The whole experience is becoming one that we look forward now. Princess making sure she got her lines right and myself making sure that she has the right costumes ready for each scene.

About that........hmmmmm. I need to be pinched to wake up to the real world and accept the fact that my little girl is growing so fast and so are are size.  I mean some features are beginning to show in their appropriate places and yet I am yet to get it that a security watch is next on the agenda of my 'to-do' list as a single mother.

I mean for instance, her shoes are no more found in the children section at 9years!  She is now wearing a size 38!.

Should this be an indication that I should buckle up for more time during shopping? Extra time trying to shop for her.  I hope you understand what that means under this hot sun these days in Lagos. Secondly, going all pink is another trait I am having to deal with. I try but when you look and see her cute face innocently stare at you.......my heart just melts.

The time for these different takes on set just made me look forward to our getting back to Lagos and into our hotel room that I had planned and booked for in advance before we left for Abeokuta, Ogun State. I mean a one night stay away from home at least so we can rest with quaranteed light and no cooking, no generator noise.

Its been refreshing and I am ready for the hustle of Monday and Princess is ready to resume school tomorrow.

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend and a beautiful week ahead.

Thanks for stopping by.


Tuesday, 9 April 2013

On Emotional bruises and wounds

I am sharing this piece by my friend MIU. What's your take on this? Please share. Thank you.

There is this false impression that people have of relationships, especially when it has to end. Perhaps you have heard that "even when it has to end, broken hearts will mend" or "with time you will heal." In truth, it is not every relationship that ends with bruises and wounds.

This is not to overlook the pain of disappointment and the challenges in moving On. Some suffer in pain, yet some others move forward in style. So relationships when they end, actually can empower some people to make rational decisions in the future; and creates an opportunity for one to finally be thankful of the time spent together.End of relationships should never usher in hate, and as long as the one you are hating is not contributing to your healing, why waste time hating them? When it ends, make new discoveries and move on. If you can see, you will notice that no one stands behind closed doors.

Is it that simple?

Monday, 8 April 2013

My Housekeeper and The Lessons I Learnt.

I have plenty gist that have piled up and choking me to spill. I mean, not with Sykik on my neck , I cannot but try rushing them all so I get them all out.  By the way babe, you are the best ( am I qualified for the giveaway too?)
My new housekeeper showed me pepper. I know......I was warned but I thought I was an exception and could handle mine differently.  Well, I have been proved wrong. 

Let me start from the very beginning. Last December, I got a young lady of 17 years who had just finished her senior secondary examination and was bent on furthering her education.  This I admired greatly at the time until the bubble boosted. This was going to be for a couple of months until she made up her mind of either staying longer with me ( instead of her Uncle's place whose sons who always teased her alias made passes at her). I accepted her senior sister's terms as I really did need an adult to be home with my Princess)

I thought it wise to enroll her for extra classes while we awaits her results.  Unknown to me, the results were out and she didnt make her papers. So instead of extra classes for JAMB, it turned out she had to retake her final secondary school certificate exams again as an external candidate.  Oooouch! It was fine by me but............

My shock was too much as my girl wanted to work in a restaurant than go for the extra lessons as she explained to me that I was going to be wasting money sending her for these classes when  she still had until next year to enroll again because she had not registered on time this year.

Secondly, I observed that her senior sister kept calling her more often than she opened up to give me gist of the reasons for the differednt calls. I did not find it funny as in , was there something going on that I needed to know but was being covered up?

I only got to find out about a few weeks ago, I got a call from her one early Monday morning saying there was going to be a burial of one of their relations on that Friday and she wanted my new girl to attend with her Uncle who lives not too far from my place. I suspected foul play. So instead of allowing their ploy to work, I played along and surprised them both by asking her to quickly move her things to her Uncle's place that morning instead of waiting till Friday when they will be leaving because she might miss out on some important family shopping.  She was shocked and began crying so much I wondered why.  Was there more to this whole drama?  Whether she was leaving on Tuesday, or Friday, it did not make any difference to me as I had made up my mind that once she left my house , she wasn't coming back.  Secondly, was she planning to execute any hideous plan or what?  I am not a Prophet, but the whole drama got all my senses on all alert.

So, standing right by her as she tearfully packed her things ( I quickly got her a new travelling bag from the ones I have at home, so she will look all tushed et al), I made sure all that she was packing was all she brought to my house.  I got this........smiling inside me.

The girl and her Senior sister thought pulling a quick one on me will crumble my defence and help their plans.  I am still so shocked that a smart girl like that could be manipulated like that all the way from their hometown by the senior sister and me was their guinea pig?  Na lie!  Yes , I have recently got my hands full of so many things , all needing my attention but I can never be so blinded by anything where my Princess is involved.  Yes, I was getting to relax and be lazy , if I am allowed to say so cos of the extra hand I got in fixing things around the house but again , the fear of Boko Haram and all these security messages one has been getting is enough wake up call for any Nigerian.

I gave her some money and told her to call me when she got back and let me know whatever she wanted.  Big LIE! Immediately she left, I left messages round my compound and with our security man never to let her into the compound ,my flat and most importantly , my Princess!

I am sure her senior sister wanted her to go work in some food canteen / restaurant and be paid money instead of her finishing her education. I called her and explained to her how she was stalling her sister's education.  She is the last born for goodness sake. It did hurt me so bad but I am sure her family knows what best for her.

Called her twice with different numbers and she told me they are yet to travel to their hometown for the burial.  Woooow! Good radiance.

That phase is gone.......moving to other things.

Tape Rolling..........Action!

Its good to be back home! I am sure this will be as shocking to you all as its been for me for the past few weeks and especially over the weekend as it all started falling into place

My Princess is through with her examination  and home for the holiday.  Is that so?  Naaaaaa.  She is so not on holiday as she got a lead role in a new family sitcom coming up soon.  Yeah, I know, my Princess is growing and venturing into new things.

The shooting location was the beautiful town of Orimerunmu. Wondering where that is?  Its in Ogun State, just a little after the Redeemed Christian Church of God camp on the Abeokuta Expressway.

We got to location on Friday, as shooting in earnest and was I surprised at the way my Angel handled her role scene after scene.

By the way, my Princess is officially being costumed by no other than our own one and only CEO of Revamp Definition, Che.

The rest of the gist will be posted as the they unfold.

This is where I say its a wrap for today.

Have a lovely week everyone.

Tuesday, 2 April 2013

Blanked Out!

Happy Easter my people of Blogville.

I have been away for a whole one month! I  know, its so unlike me but the reason has been so heavy that confiding in my closest pal, Simply Mee was what jolted me back to reality.  @Sykik stop nosing for gist, its not healthy! I don warn you bi dat!

I apologize for keeping you all in the dark about what was going on with me all this while. I really am.

Let me first go back and wish all mothers, happy belated Mothers day. Happy Easter to you all and a happy New month. Wishing you all my friends and followers all the best you wish yourself.

You all would be asking what happened to me, right?  I took time off to sort out my emotional side that was getting some form of serious attention and I simply crumbled all of a sudden!  Yeah, I, superwoman, macho mama, came crashing all to my knees .

I completely blanked out! I mean, who is ever ready for love again after being so single all these years?  Let me do a little reflecting here;

Being a single mom is one of the hardest things a sazzy, beautiful, and bold young woman can face in a life time ( at least until her title changes).

There are those times when issues that needs instant addressing especially these emotional ones that causes me to be all jelly, frail without knowing if its the right thing to do, and at the same time so ashamed to discuss it just beacuse I won't want to make another mistake again all in the name of love.

I mean I simply recoil back into my shell, blank out , lock out every other person and try to sort out this feeling.  I mean, I need answers to what the right of this shift in feeling is all about. Fear, depression, unhappiness sets in all at this time and I have to reach out to the me on the inside for answers. 

What are the signs that a single mother is ready to date again?  Should I get some counseling to get myself prepared for the new life? How do I get my Princess into this new phase? What if I will never want to try love again? Where is my instinct when I need it most!