Wednesday, 27 February 2013

What Football will Cause

I am an unofficial Super Eagles supporter for LIFE! I mean did you watch the last Nations Cup? Okay, I did. Our result? The whole world is still talking about it. You can google it just to be sure, lol But whenever these European league matches are being played, forget am, I am another babe enitrely! I am one of their greatest supporters. Number one ManU fan. You can't try me at all. Don't bother asking me the match fixtures oo. I am only aware when I follow @ruggedybaba alias Rugged Man. He is so in tuned and updates me on Twitter. I trust him no bi small as I might be in traffic on days these matches are being played. Yesterday's match between Barcelona vs Real Madrid. It wasn't a joke. Tension was heavy as friends were throwing tantrums at the slightest provocation e.g **ororo no dey fade** #yh, sure! CR7 no fade. **oba nor dey go transfer ooo** #ehn! If I hear am! Tooth(merci)less Messi go pass transfer dis nyt. #Remix: ***ororo nor dey fade, but oba fit go transfer eeeeh*** Have you ever been to an event center to watch any of the European league matches? Na wah, enough saliva for your face as matured men scream at each other just to pass their views across. Imagine a babe, a die-hard fan in such an environment! I mean, the guys will give way and allow her show off her football commentary skills for once. My sleep was interrupted last night even after I put up my favourite display picture on my blackberry so my friends and loved ones will not allow me to sleep. I didn't want to be asked to comment about the match in the first place because I would have stepped on some toes and made a few enemies. But I had to wake up, mediate in the little drama that had brewed in the group and off I went back to sleep. I learnt that the beefing is still on. I guess its okay, that's football for you. It tears friends apart and brings them back again by the next match even with all the screaming, hating, beefing and saliva being poured on ones face. Its in the spirit of the game. This beefing should be over by the next match.......hopefully. My beloved ManU, please, as I am praying for you in advance , make sure you do so terrible damage to Real Madrid when they come. I am predicting 3goals to 1. I know I will be reading my tweets for all the updates even as I watch the match. #TeamManusupporterindeed!

Monday, 25 February 2013

Wife Wanted: I am a Single Dad and Grandfather @ 40!

A few questions kept flooding my mind as I pondered over Kenneth’s plight. He is a gentleman to the core, a successful business man. He could pass for a married man at least until he opens up. Kenneth sent me an email over the weekend. A very touchy one at that! It reads I am a single father, a grand father at 40! "I had my son back then in 1990 when I was my first year in the University with my secondary school lover. Now, my 23years old son has a son December, 2012. I didn’t marry my secondary school lover because our parent thought we were too young and had our education to face. Years passed and we never came back together and I have remained single, lonely ever since. No lady wants to marry me once they hear that I have a son as old as my son. I wonder why? I am a responsible man, a good father. What could be the problem? I really want to get married and settle down with a good woman. Now that I am a grandfather, will it reduce my chances of finding a wife?" Replying Kenneth was an easy task because , I have this picture in my head that finding a wife, a relationship for a single father shouldn’t be that difficult. I mean after all , unlike single mothers, they have the spark to make it all work out for them while ladies keep burning on the inside, waiting for the right man to come along. However, I did my best and consoled Kenneth that as it is with single dads, single moms are not left out if not have much more challenges as she cant walk up to any man she desires but instead silently burn and the heartaches continues. Phew! Single dads are human after all.

Thursday, 21 February 2013

A Concerned Heartbroken Father writes

A concerned and heart broken father sent me this email after reading the last post. I am sharing with you all. I write today from my heart. Its been a while I did this as I prefer leaving all such where they originate. Thanks to twitter, I barely have to watch Television anymore. Twitter also exposed me to something else; Hurt. Hurt in many lives, cutting across religion, geographical boundaries and barriers of all sorts. While its not new to say that society is turned upside down, there are new stories that would shock you. I am hardly moved emotional but some of these stories once made me cry and go all angry inside. Today, I am not analyzing or even trying to analyze any of these scenarios. I will not try to explain why these happen or why someone shouldn't have done one thing of the other. Some people have cried to the point that their tear glands have taken compulsory vacations! In some, pain and grief have turned to hatred made them almost incapable of loving another human again. But I say there is hope. Like someone said, 'Our sons teeth should not be on edge because their fathers ate sour grapes'. Yes, someone missed their priorities in life, yes someone took your precious love and defiled the sanctity of your existence. Yes, your heart has been broken, yes, you don't even see any reason to live again! To everyone going through one hurt or the other, regardless of the degree, I insist here is HOPE! WHY? Because even horror movies have an end! You must stay strong, you must fight on! I understand its been a hard long fight, I understand you've been wounded in battle, I understand you are running short of ammo, I understand you may have even lost the battle, but wake up! The war isn't over! For the sake of our children, we must fight. Our children MUST not suffer the same fate as we are now, or from the consequences of this situations. Look away from the matter, let the pain and all the hurt go, LIVE again!, RISE, yes RISE, RISE above that storm, yes above that hurt, RISE above the calamities and circumstances of the present, RISE because you can, RISE because you will, RISE because you must, finally, RISE because.....I believe in YOU. God Bless you!

What is wrong with this pose?

A friend of mind sent this to me this afternoon , calling my attention to why some young responsible men won't ever be ready for marriage. I tried to ask him questions what it was about but he insisted that I opened the email first. Now I understand his anger. Friends what do you think? Is the society responsible for this too? What is wrong with this dress sense? NB: picture gotten from source

Tuesday, 19 February 2013

A wife's Cry............"I feel Like Killing My Husband"

I got this from a friend and was given the permission to share as the lady in question needs all the advice she can get to be able to be able to get through her present situation. A Conversation this afternoon: Lady: "uncle Mike I hate my husband, I feel like killing him." MIU: "please don't kill him yet. What did he do?" Lady: "can you imagine? He made my best friend pregnant. Please what should I do, I am going crazy? MIU: "Eh yeaa...sorry eh. But I don't think you should kill him yet ok." Because there are only two scenarios that can provoke you to that point...and you... are not in those..." Lady: "which are? MIU: First scenario "if he promised you marriage and then marries your sister while you are pregnant. And Scenario two is: if you have children with him and he turns round to marry your best friend." In both cases my dear, you don't have to kill him but you are free to use him for money ritual. Lady: "oh Uncle Mike I am just laughing. What can I do without you? MIU : "A lot my dear, a lot. You can do the ritual without me." Lady: "hahahahaha." Please folks, do you have any advise to add for her? She will be reading. Thanks.

ECOMOG Single Mum says....."I hate Junior, because he reminds me of Timothy" !

Ever wondered why would a mother have such a thought? I have contemplated suicide many times, not because my Princess was the issue here , her dad maybe , but never would I give room for a devilish thought to roam freely in my subconscious mind. Me? Hate Princess? Why would I think of such a thing? Uyai's had her reasons. A few days back, I ran into an old friend, Uyai. We have been friends from way back in the secondary school but had lost contact. She was not looking her pretty self. I couldn't wait but ask her what was wrong with her. She couldn't fight back the tears. We were by the road side, I suggested we head for a close by eatery to sit and talk about it. This was more serious than I thought. She began by taking me back to way back when we were bubbling teenagers and her crush back then, Timothy. Of course, who wouldn't remember Uyai and Timothy. They were an item amongs us all then. Tribal difference wasn't a problem for their love. Their parents had a different perspective to these things. He was from the Bauchi (Northern part of Nigeria) and she was from Ikom,in Cross River State. Timothy joined the Army. Back then, it was an achievement to be in the Nigerian Army. Everything was heavenly. Name it, free transportation, free accommodation in the Barracks, school was subsidized for kids. Life was good as a soldier man's wife. That was until Timothy was called up to join the Peace Keeping Force in Liberia (ECOMOG). Timothy was so happy. He was going to be paid in Dollars! That was all that he was thinking about, not his young wife and kid that he was leaving behind. Another hidden agenda was of course the curiosity to find out how true the stories that the first set of troops sent back on how the women in Liberia were lovely to behold. Timothy's mind was already made up. Uyai got to know very late of this excitement that was eating Timothy up. He joined the others in Liberia and that was the end of their marriage so to say as he stopped writing, calling and eloped from there with the other woman that he met and married in Liberia. Life! Now every time Uyai sees Junior, she is all infuriated with hatred. I went over to hug her and gave her a very good back rub ( I suspected that should work cos it does work for me when I am all broken up inside). My once bubbling, pretty Uyai is now a single mother and a confused woman. I bet the pain is more because she had a pretty picture of "ever after" in her mind set for marriage. Sincerely, is the child to blame? What has little Junior got to do with his father's irresponsible attitude of eloping with another woman and abandoning his family? Should there be a law protecting a serving officer's wife who leaves family on "AWOL"? *( AWOL [ˈeɪwɒl], A.W.O.L. adj(Military) Military absent without leave; absent from one's post or duty without official permission but without intending to desert)

Monday, 18 February 2013

RE: When A Married Bachelor Hurts

Hello friends. How was our weekend? I am going to share this reaction to the post on Tobi and Bolu. I have a few others but this came in first. Enjoy. "I read the post about Tobi and Bolu. I want to say here that theirs is a very delicate issue and should be handle with care. However, there are too man variables to consider as regards this couple. Too man implications and consequences at the slightest mistake. Firstly, the wife may be hiding something , whether good or bad, that's the first instance. Secondly, the wife ma have calculated before hand that the cannot handle another child but didn't know how to "preach" it to her husband, Tobi, to use a condom or assume he should have known better. Case two. This could be Bolu's thinking as a woman, being sensitive nature. Thirdly, Tobi, ma have offended his wife without knowing and she's reacting to it in the best way she can - denying him his rights to her bod and her heart. This is case three I can go on and on on this issue on hand here but like I had said earlier, the variables and "what-if's" about this matter is much if the get it wrong. There is simply too much consequences to be suffered from it. The are sitting on a time bomb! Sooner or later, the must either dissolve the issue or the issue will dissolve them. This is my take on this couple. I hope I was able to help. Thank you for the opportunity to use your page to get this across to this couple. NB: I am open to receiving from you on what you think of this contribution

Thursday, 14 February 2013

Happy Valentine's Day

This is wishing all my friends and loved ones a lovely Valentine's day. Do I have a Valentine's date? Yes I do. My Princess is on mid-term break and we are going out later when I get back home. How lovely I know you are wondering , why not a real date. Well, that's what I got this year, lol. Sending you this virtual box of love Have fun everyone

Wednesday, 13 February 2013

Hurting Married Spinster

This is another email I got and I am asking for your advice again. I am going to be bringing these emails as they come because I believe we can all be of help to a hurting heart. My name is Celine. I went through your profile and was sure we have a few things in common. You are a single mother , right? Well, there is no much difference between us. I have a daughter just like you. Unlike you , I am married in every sense of the word but a spinster. You may wonder why I am saying this. This is my story I married my husband in 2001. We had my daughter in 2002. Life was beautiful, just like I had prayed and believed God for. That was until an opportunity came for my husband, Odinaka, to go for a short study course in the United States of America. We were more than happy.....greener pastures. This was avenue for our economic situation to be bettered than what we had back then. I didn't object but joined hands with him to see that he met up with all that he was required to do to make a successful trip. He left for the United States in 2003, he hasn't been back ever since. I have hoped and prayed that he will come back home to us. He calls, sends money, but what is that my sister compared to the challenges a young woman like myself is having to go through on a daily basis? I have cried so many tears and things keep looking the same. I know he is now married to another 'oyinbo' wife and kids too, but he keeps calling to say he loves me. That has been the story for years now.I have applied for US visa but denied on 3 different occasions. I burn for a man to hold me at nights. When things are beyond me, the challenges of being a parent weighing me down, I cry and my health has been affected too. I am only human. Please tell me, how do you cope as a single mother? Do you think its normal for me to believe that I am still a married woman? I have so many questions my sister and I feel I can share these hurts with you. I don't socialize as I would want to, I would very much want to connect with a matured man and not feel guilty but my situation needs counsel. I hope to hear from you. Thank you. Your friend, Celine I am not in Celine shoes but I can relate with her pains, hurts and stigma that are present status. What advice do you have for this sister, please share.

Tuesday, 12 February 2013

When A Married Bachelor Hurts

How I have come to find myself in this position can only is beyond me. I mean, what do I know? I just mind my business and trying to heal daily - as a work-in-progress single mother. Daily, I find myself interacting with a lot of people on different issues as parents ( and parenting); either married, separated, single, divorced or the latest, married single and come to the conclusion that a lot of married men are hurting.
Its a wonder how come they are still hanging in there ( I want to believe for others to share from their experiences too).
I have agreed to share and ask you all to help advice these new sets of friends of mine . We all can help a broken heart heal, who knows, helping a marriage get back together, a hurting child's prayers might just come through as the parents come back together again. I want to start with one that is so touching. He really needs advice on what to do. Tobi, is a bubbling young man. Hard working and a dedicated business owner. He is married to his high school sweetheart. Her name is Boluwatife. Tobi, is a few years older than Bolu. Back then in school, Tobi was two classes ahead of Bolu, and she accorded him so much respect that after high school it continued until their relationship blossomed into a romantic one which later led into them getting married. Life couldn't have been any better for Tobi as he thanked God daily for being so blessed. They had a son soon after their wedding and both families where excited and continued to pray for the couple's progress. In other to help her hubby, Bolu, got a job with Lagos State Ministry, a welcome relief it was for Tobi as business wasn't looking too good for him.
As months went on, Bolu got promoted (she is now a senior manager with better remuneration) and Tobi business nose-dived daily. He sourced for other means to keep his family but the bedroom became a war zone. Worried about the change in his wife, Tobi, would always call his parents or his in-laws to intervene and to make peace as that was the only medicine that cured their ailing marriage. However, as much as both parents didn't want their children's home to break up, they soon got tired and confronted Tobi to work out his problems with his wife and not involve them any longer. Confused Tobi, who had no intention of having extra marital affairs started having second thoughts. He loves his wife and son deeply but this was getting more depressing daily. Bolu couldn't be bothered. She denied him sex and wouldn't sleep in the same bedroom with her husband. A whole year and six months denying her husband sex was enough to crumble Tobi. She did cook though, aside that, nothing else.
On one of those days when the parents intervened, they had the bedroom to themselves. Tobi, was happy. He thought the silent treatment was over and his wife was back to her lovely self. Unknown to him, a few months has passed and she had gotten pregnant without his content of having another child. He only noticed when the pregnancy had gone 6months! Confused,Tobi kept wondering how did this happen. There was no plan for another child. At least not until his finances had improved compared to what they had at the momemt. For all he cared these thoughts of his weren't in line with Bolu's as she had her own plans and didn't want Tobi in any of them. He is afraid of what the wife might do next. He is contemplating going out and getting into an affair. So many thoughts flooding his mind and worst is he is not even sure if the pregnancy is his own! He has been sleeping on the couch now for months! His business is not doing as he had anticipated. He is proud and loving father but his son has seen more than enough for a little child his age to be able to conclude that something is not right between his parents.
I got a call last night from Tobi that his wife has put to birth a baby girl. He is not a happy man. In a few days it will be the naming ceremony of the baby. Will he be naming a child he is not sure is his own? Will the wife bring up some pranks to show to the world he is the man he used to be? What a lot of questions! I need for us to help Tobi at least get his mind back and if not for anything his pride back as a Man , happily married and not a married single hurting man. Thank you

Sunday, 10 February 2013

Super Eagles are African Champions!

I am indeed proud of being a Nigerian! Wonderful feel I must tell you! This is going to be my shortest post ever. I can't contain the excitement as I am sure a lot of Nigerian in and around the world must be celebrating this victory of the Super Eagles in the just concluded CAF Nations Cup! Three gbosa! Gbosa!! Gbosa!!! Let me get back to my noise making parrrrring

Thursday, 7 February 2013

SNM "Me-Time" Valentine Giveaway

In the past few months of my blogging, I have come to appreciate motherhood more than ever before, whether single, married or divorced. Recently, I have been introduced to another set of parents - the single dads. Oh yes. There are a lot of single dads these days that are hurting and going through a lot and would very much want to mingle or have someone listen to their hurts and pains too. I have my ears for everyone these days I must confess.
Another set are the married singles. This is another story altogether. Its a beautiful world we live in these days and until you come to listen to another hurting parent whether single or not , mom or dad, you will never know the extent to which their world revolves. A lot is going on behind closed bedroom doors.
I am going to be giving out a few more surprise gifts to these different set of parents. I hope it does make you smile and enjoy every moment of your parenting life. Here it is! How would you like to take some “me time” and get pampered with a manicure/pedicure?! Two of my readers will be getting this giveaway. A babe and a dude are going to be ramdomly picked as winners. To Enter: Please let me know why you think you should be pampered this way *smiles Also how do I do it all as a parent ( mom /dad)? Secondly, what do you do to keep yourself calm and get through the day(mom /dad)? Winners will be notified via email. It is available to those living in Lagos only. Hugsxxxx

Tuesday, 5 February 2013

My Dual Perspective Read

Sometime last week, I came across this book "The Mother Dance" By Harriet Lerner, Ph.D. I was attracted to it by the title as well as the sub title "How Children Change your Life" I couldn't agree anymore better than to pick up a copy ( It was the only copy) and I have been having a discovery into my own dual perspective of my life as a mother and as my own person.
Books can be a great source for motivation and inspiration, particularly when you're feeling stalled. I want to thank @Sykik for her email. You can check your in box for more on the mail you sent me. What are your favorite books that you have picked to read or reading now? Please Share with me.

Its World Nuttella Day!

Today, 5th of February, in many countries all over the world, (Nigeria not left out) lovers of Nuttella spread are uniting. #Yummythoughts
Nuttella spread is no stranger on many breakfast tables the world over, on both children and parents toast every morning. I have found some quick fix for those early morning rush that has kept me sane over the years. So, I am joining lovers of Nuttella spread to enjoy the day and the memories of the past. I know like me , a lot of you have spreads that have become your favourite over the years. Okay , maybe not a spread, what is it? Please can you share this with me? I just wonder if its possible to have our own Nigerian household favourite noodle, Indomie Noodles, set a day aside for it? #thinking
My favourite is the Indomie pepper chicken flavour in the the super pack size.

Monday, 4 February 2013

My Phobia vs My Health

A few days back, I got so busy that I broke down. I mean something inside just snapped and I had to slow it down. I realized that I need to constantly check how I push myself to achieve my targets. I drive myself to the extreme sometimes. Oh yes I do. Its not funny, but I can't help myself. I am an ADDICT! It had to take friends to help me relax a bit. @ Sykik, I still want that vacation, don't think I have forgotten.
Anyway, I have to confess that as I get older ( na so) I have to watch what I eat and go for regular check ups.I am surprised at myself, I could have sworn that I am as fit as I look ( I don't look like a horse *smiles). Unfortunately, something was triggered off in my system this last week which caught me off my tracks and I had to be in bed for a few days ( It didn't stop blogging). Sometimes back, I asked you my friends how often do we go for check ups? My bad! I am now lazy or should I openly confess that I have a phobia for hospitals. Little wonder why having doctors as friends hasn't been that easy ( apologies to whom it may concern). I am working on it people, just wait and see.
Friends, I have a phobia! What is the name of this phobia now? I mean phobia for hospitals? Yes! Nosocomephobia I am trying to address my phobia for hospital by following the advice of my learned friend who has been trying to talk me into see hospitals from a different perspective and not from the so called government hospitals that we have here in Nigeria.
First point of call he specifically said will be, Reddington Hospital and that I would be amazed how fast my phobia / fear will fly out through the window. I mean an hospital with a Royal Suite? (offers a total of 50 beds, the vast majority in single accommodation, with only a few double rooms. Each room has facilities for examination, haemodynamic monitoring & resuscitation, air conditioning, TV and an en-suite bathroom)? Nice
What is a Phobia? A phobia is a strong, persistent fear of situations, objects, activities, or persons. The main symptom of this disorder is the excessive, unreasonable desire to avoid the feared subject. Phobias are believed to be developed by heredity, genetics and brain-chemistry combine with life-experiences.
There are three basic types of phobia. These are 1. Social phobias 2. Specific phobias and 3. Agoraphobia Please feel free to choose yours from the list. At least so you just know. Blutophobia- Fear of washing or bathing. Achluophobia- Fear of darkness. Acrophobia- Fear of heights. . Aeroacrophobia- Fear of open high places. Agateophobia- Fear of insanity. Agliophobia- Fear of pain.
Agraphobia- Fear of sexual abuse. Agyrophobia- Fear of streets or crossing the street. Aichmophobia- Fear of needles or pointed objects. Ailurophobia- Fear of cats.
Alektorophobia- Fear of chickens. Algophobia- Fear of pain. Altophobia- Fear of heights. Amaxophobia- Fear of riding in a car. Ambulophobia- Fear of walking. Ancraophobia- Fear of wind. (Anemophobia) Androphobia- Fear of men.
Anthrophobia or Anthophobia- Fear of flowers. (No Valentine flowers)
Anuptaphobia- Fear of staying single. Aphenphosmphobia- Fear of being touched. Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth. Arachnephobia or Arachnophobia- Fear of spiders.
Arithmophobia- Fear of numbers. Arrhenphobia- Fear of men. Arsonphobia- Fear of fire. Atelophobia- Fear of imperfection. Athazagoraphobia- Fear of being forgotton or ignored or forgetting. Atychiphobia- Fear of failure. Autophobia- Fear of being alone or of oneself. Aviophobia or Aviatophobia- Fear of flying I am sure a lot of you will be shocked that fear of needles is a serious one that would make a babe not fix weave-on just because she doesn't want to get infected with HIV ( forget about her having her own pack of needles, she is won't be caught fixing anything) I know of few. I don't have that phobia. That's a relief! Do you know your HIV status?
This, my friends, is another gist entirely. I almost killed somebody just because I went for an all encompassing check-up 2weeks ago.

Friday, 1 February 2013

Everything will be alright.......soon

Hello friends, the month of January has come and gone. The fear of how to survive the financial difficulties that accompanies it is so enormous that you only need to start a conversation with anyone of your friends, relations, colleagues like " This January has been wonderful......bla bla" or na wah o, how person go do sef , no money for hand o. The replies you will get will throw you off your seat.
I have learnt over time to take each day as it comes. Yes, I worry but whether I like it or not, the month still comes to pass anyway! I getting better indeed. Rent, school fee, other bills.....hmmm. Its just awesome I tell you. I devised a means that has seems to have just worked for me. I divide these bills and pay them in parts! Yes o. I will just break if I carry everything at once. A lot of people show off during the festive period and end of the year and then cry wolf. I have just learnt to manage within my means. Shikena!
Do you know anyone hurting? Will you help me share this? I thought of some friends who are in some "beautiful situations" and decided to share. I need a hug pls.
AM PASTING THIS FOR YOU MY DEAR(S). I AM WITH YOU ALL THE WAY: Did you know the people that are the strongest are usually the most sensitive? Did you know the people who exhibit the most kindness are the first to get mistreated? Did you know the one who takes care of others all the time are usually the ones who need it the most? Did you know the 3 hardest things to say are I love you, I'm sorry, and Help me. Sometimes just because a person looks happy, you have to look past their smile and see how much pain they may be in. To all my friends who are going through some issues right now--Let's start an intention avalanche. We all need positive intentions right now. If I don't see your name, I'll understand. May I ask my friends wherever you might be, to kindly copy and paste this status to give a moment of support to all those who have family problems, health struggles, job issues, worries of any kind and just need to know that someone cares. Do it for all of us, for nobody is immune. I hope to see this on the walls of all my friends just for moral support. I know some will!! I did it for a friend and you can too. You have to copy & paste this one, no share button, because kindness is an effort given from the heart not the press of a button.