Wednesday, 13 February 2013

Hurting Married Spinster

This is another email I got and I am asking for your advice again. I am going to be bringing these emails as they come because I believe we can all be of help to a hurting heart. My name is Celine. I went through your profile and was sure we have a few things in common. You are a single mother , right? Well, there is no much difference between us. I have a daughter just like you. Unlike you , I am married in every sense of the word but a spinster. You may wonder why I am saying this. This is my story I married my husband in 2001. We had my daughter in 2002. Life was beautiful, just like I had prayed and believed God for. That was until an opportunity came for my husband, Odinaka, to go for a short study course in the United States of America. We were more than happy.....greener pastures. This was avenue for our economic situation to be bettered than what we had back then. I didn't object but joined hands with him to see that he met up with all that he was required to do to make a successful trip. He left for the United States in 2003, he hasn't been back ever since. I have hoped and prayed that he will come back home to us. He calls, sends money, but what is that my sister compared to the challenges a young woman like myself is having to go through on a daily basis? I have cried so many tears and things keep looking the same. I know he is now married to another 'oyinbo' wife and kids too, but he keeps calling to say he loves me. That has been the story for years now.I have applied for US visa but denied on 3 different occasions. I burn for a man to hold me at nights. When things are beyond me, the challenges of being a parent weighing me down, I cry and my health has been affected too. I am only human. Please tell me, how do you cope as a single mother? Do you think its normal for me to believe that I am still a married woman? I have so many questions my sister and I feel I can share these hurts with you. I don't socialize as I would want to, I would very much want to connect with a matured man and not feel guilty but my situation needs counsel. I hope to hear from you. Thank you. Your friend, Celine I am not in Celine shoes but I can relate with her pains, hurts and stigma that are present status. What advice do you have for this sister, please share.


olakunle fapohunda said...

After reading Celine's story I ask myself why does money, position, wealth, education, promotion etc always cause friction in marriages? Anyways, Celine left out the part of his family. Celine needs to continue to be strong for her child and hope for the best with prayers.

Anonymous said...

Probably best for her to get a divorce and move on. He's committing bigamy, for which he can be taken to court, or even lose his immigration status, but it's unlikely Celine will want to, or be able to, pursue that option.

Fluffycutething said...

I'm with anonymous! As tough as the option seems it'll probably be the best in the long run, for how long can she really continue like this?

Ritty said...

@Olakunle, She will be following your comments and take out of them and apply to her situation as it best suits her.

Frankly, I didn't ask her about her in-laws.

She got me thinking though how many women are in this situation and are suffering in silence.

I pray she does the right thing.

Ritty said...

@Anonymous, from every indication, its obvious she wants to move on with her life.

I pray she does move on before she misses out completely in the long run.

Ritty said...

@Fluffycutething , I completely agree with you my dear

Happy Valentine's day :)