Wednesday, 17 April 2013

I-can-do-it-by-myself mentality is a LIE. I need a Village

Recently, I have read a few articles on some celeb single mothers and was amazed at the depth of what they go through.  The one that touched me most is the one by Jill Scott, a lovely, strong and honest Black sister. Coming back home to relate with this life as a single mothers are Omawumi  and Monalisa Chinda amongst others. I know there are many others ( It will be my pleasure to hear your stories, who knows, you might just be helping a sister remain strong to carry on).

Below are excerpts from May edition of Ebony with Jill Scott's own take on the life of a single mother and the struggles that we have to face.

On being a single-mom:
That I-can-do-it-by-myself mentality is a lie. I’m sorry if I hurt anybody’s feelings, but you cannot do it all by yourself. You need a village: some aunties, grandmoms, friends. I couldn’t do this by myself and would be a fool to think I could.”

On raising a young man:
It’s challenging being a single mom…No matter what I do, I’ll never be a man. Ever. I can show Jett how to be a thinker, how to enjoy music or how to feel, and to conquer. But I cannot show him how to be a man.”

On motherhood:
Motherhood is getting your hands and your feet in the soil…When Jett puts my face in his hands and tells me, ‘Mommy you’re so pretty’ or smells me, it’s so wonderful.”

On being sexy:
The way I see things, I think that’s sexy. The way I think and the way I pray, I believe, are very sexy. I’ve never been the girl with too few clothes on. My mother told me… ‘It’s what you don’t do that makes you sexy moreso than what you do.’…”

Love the honesty!

Our Own Diva......Omawumi......The Wonder Woman

In an interview with Channels TV, Omawumi allowed access into a part of her personal life.

There was question on whether she regrets bringing a child to the world during that period of her life, Omawumi responded ‘She was more important than everything and everyone else‘.

She also confessed that people close to her had tried to talk her out of it but she that she ’had a blind conviction that nobody could talk her out of’. ‘Of course people tried to talk me out of it. I said let the career fall, I will back my daughter and sell tomatoes. She is more important to me‘.

She also talked on her marital status: ’I didn’t come with that intention to be a single parent, however, now that I’ve found myself in that position, I’m going to enjoy and walk in the stride until when God brings the man that will come and you know

Nollywood Screen Diva ...... Monalisa Chinda

Nollywood actress, Monalisa Chinda has stated that being a single parent is neither funny nor fun.

“One thing I regret most is the fact that I am divorced. Where I come from I am the first daughter. I am from a royal family. It has never been on record that the first daughter will walk out of her matrimonial home.

But it is a matter of life and death otherwise I would have stayed back and make my marriage work.
I tried to make it work but it takes two people to tango. That’s the only thing I regret, raising my child without the father.

It’s a bit painful. But I have to live with it. It’s better that way than to expose my daughter to all sorts of domestic violence. It will definitely disorient her and affect her upbringing. She will be dis-functional. God knows best,” she said.
She was speaking to Nigeria’s Showtime Media, about her former marriage and love life when she made the statement.
I would love to remarry. In fact, I am designed to be under a man. I am not going to lie that I like this single mother nomenclature.

I am striding daily with the grace of God through this journey of life. What else can I say when a lot of single mothers are out their carrying their own cross with different stories?

Need I say I need you all to help steady this 'load' from falling off?


Anonymous said...

Yes o, it needs a village to raise a child.It takes the grace of GOD to raise a child.

Anonymous said...

Aunty Iwade, is that you? This is Kubu. ℓ̊ guiet agree with γφυr statement especially the part that says "it takes the grace of God to raise a child" who needs an irresponsible man when there is a God who never fails?

Ritty said...

IB, great reunion thanks to my blog, lol. Nice.

Kubu, welcome o