Monday, 21 January 2013

What Are The Challenges of Relationships And Marriages

I am at a point when I am opened to a lot of emotional challenges and find myself being there for people to want to share their hurts and pains with me. Do I have my own loads of baggage? Of course I do, who doesn't. Do I cry these pains away? I wish. I am sharing this, I hope to get answers that might just be helping someone who is hurting too. A friend, MIU, posted it.
At what point in a relationship do we recognize that, "this is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with" when in truth we don't have the benefit of knowing what tomorrow might bring? Could this be the very challenge of relationships and marriages because, along the line (in that future) comes someone more compatible, more compassionate, more loving, resonating to the very sentiments of ...our own heart, and we are momentarily troubled with the choices we had made. At this point, that statement: "this is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with" comes under threat. How can one prevent boxing himself or herself into such corners at the presence and experience of that emotional buzz called love?


Che said...

I also ask myself this question. How do I know that he is the one? What if I meet someone i prefer later in life? Lots of questions. I'm guessing that when I meet him, I will be totally @ ease with him, no need to pretend, he would be my "bestest friend" :-D, i would have absolute peace about us. If you know other ways of knowing, abeg share with a sister. LOL.

Obasa Olorunfemi said...

1st; like most real Christians know, the Spirit of God is not the author of confusion. Once he leads, its up to us to follow; but in the event that we do not follow, well, that's our cup of tea *or coffee if u like*.

2ndly; We must understand that according to the rules of life, the grass always APPEARS greener on the other side. In reality, this isn't true 89% of the time.

3rd; There would ALWAYS be someone taller, shorter, richer, younger, more sexy, more beautiful, more handsome, more intelligent, more suited than the person we are currently with. but that is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON to dump and switch partners. It is simply a matter of orientation and contentment.

In conclusion, This is not a decision to be made in a hurry. All the best!

Obasa Olorunfemi said...

1. My Apologies to the non-christians who read this; The spirit of God is not the author of confusion. When he leads, its our Job to follow. while he doesnt force anyone, he also may not interfere when we suffer in consequences of not following his will. It is important to note here that God's gifts *especially the best* do not come gift-wrapped; you gotta dig to find it. A good example here is Gold.

2. According to the rules of life, the grass ALWAYS APPEARS greener on the other side. Statistics show that 89% of the time, this isnt true. Whether you like it or not; there would always be someone smarter, taller, sexier, more beautiful, richer, more handsome, and more better suited to us than the person we are with *or so we like to fool ourselves*but that is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON to dump and switch partners!

In conclusion; When you choose to say 'I do', OR 'Yes'; you take all that comes along with it; the good, the not-so-good, the bad, the manageable and the ugly as well.
Have a great day!

Obasa Olorunfemi said...

@ Che; you are quite right; he would be your bestest friend. but guessing that you would be totally @ ease with him? well maybe not cuz you gotta meet him first, ryt? and the circumstances surrounding your meeting dictate how you will perceive him and he you.

Then how would you know he's the one? unfortunately as the lines on our palms are different, so also everyone's path. translation? for the fact that your friend knew in such and such a way, method or means does not imply that it might work for you.

Let God lead you, spend more time with him in prayer and develop urself to be d woman of his dreams. He's on his way! *winks

Ritty said...

@ Femi, thanks for stopping by. I appreciate you more for commenting on this topic.

I am sure someone is learning from these tips /advice that you have given here.


Ritty said...

@ Che, have you heard of the saying " make person no go use husband do boyfriend?" Hmmm, sometimes, I think I might just have been in that category. I over relax with the friend thinking her couldn't have been the "One" and kept waiting for the 'ONE' with more spark to his appearing.

My dear, I thought like you that my "bestest friend" should always remain that way while I kept waiting for the sparkle to come.

Sisters! I rest my case

olakunle fapohunda said...

Everybody marries for different reasons such as love,money,shame,procreation etc but how many marry for the right reasons? Marriage is not a bed of roses and one needs to be very cautious before the "I do". I strongly believe God plays a major role before and in marriage,most of us are carried away with affections and put God last.
In conclusion, put God first before marriage if you are marrying for the right reason and He will see you the turbulent times.